What a Real Mother's Day would look like

I woke up at 2 am today. It was a phone call from my seventeen year old. "Hey mom, Happy Mother's Day". Before we hear a collective "Awwwwww......", let me give you a different perspective in this blog post.

Back to the phone call.Yes the time was surprising. But what was more surprising, was she was in the room right next to mine, living the teenage dream - no school, no homework, no worries of early morning rush - all thanks to the lock-down.

We can attribute the odd timing and the unnecessary use of technology, to the newfound pre-adult, pre-common sense age, with a huge dollop of laziness slathered on top. But what comes next leaves me baffled. "Mom, can I use the microwave to make something in the baking tray."

Now please remember - to my groggy, sleep deprived brain, this whole conversation seems like spy-level coded language. My response?  "Err..... Whaaaat? Shut up and go to sleep. If you want to see another meal in your life, go to sleep RIGHT now."

Yes, I know. Very crude, very unimaginative. But it works like a charm EACH time. Pesky teenager problem solved, and BOOM! before you know it, the day has begun. How do I know? Because my other newbie teenager, a 13 year old boy with the attention span of a cocker-spaniel and the appetite of Godzilla, wakes me up screaming "Happy Mother's Day, Mom!"

Truth be told, both the kids are definitely caught up in the "thank-your-mom-its- Mothers Day" song and dance routine. Not to mention various Ads and Whatsapp forwards that float around to remind people of their relationships (that are in jeopardy because of the said Whatsapp in the first place!!). Result : A very hyped up day for a very underestimated role - that of a human being tasked with the responsibility of OTHER human beings.

You know what I would like to see? A REAL advert showing REAL moms. A whatsapp forward that shows the grit, the frustration and the insane commitment required for parenting (not only Moms, dads too!) And doesn't show the all sacrificing, all forgiving, ever patient, ever smiling Mother Goddess! The saccharine sweet smiles and hugs! Ugh!!

Ask any mom who juggles drool, diapers and the desire to be human again! Ask any parent who tries to reason with a young adult in matters of education and lifestyle choices. Let’s look at a few slices in  real mom's lives

• Child 1 and 2 decide to use cricket bat / badminton racket / saucepan / hair brush etc as combat weapons. The house is ofcourse, collateral damage. Mom becomes Darth Vader and uses her eye stare and insanely low pitched threats to keep child 1 in bedroom 1 WITHOUT her lifeline a.k.a. “Ze phone”, and sends child 2 to take the dog for a walk while he learns to talk without using karate moves on his sister. Mission “I hate Mom” concluded successfully 
• Child 1 wants to bake her first ever cake. Refuses help, suggestions or taste checks. After all, YouTube is the new masterchef apparently. Mom watches this unprecedented display of kitchen skills for 4 dauntingly painful hours and decides enough is enough and starts making loud, appreciative comments on the doubtful smells from the oven. This is immediately followed by frantic salvage attempts to restore child 1’s pride.
• Child 2 does not understand concept of wet and dry - be it bathrooms, kitchen or even poor Leo (our 2 year old golden retriever). So, any instances of water in the wrong place, the root cause will point towards child 2. So much so that now, any water episode is an open and shut case, that always ends with high decibel levels and door banging sessions.
• Lockdown presents itself as a vibrant canvas for all sorts of hilarious instances on a regular basis. From disastrous recipes to distributing household chores, each activity lends itself to future stories for embarrassing the people we love. My household is no different. We have successfully created TV watch time schedules and innovative time out punishments for any non compliance - produced and directed by mom ofcourse
• Waking up to the soft light of the sun and the sweet chirping of song birds? You must be dreaming ! (If you are a mom). More likely you are waking up to a little foot on you face, or the dreaded thought of missing ingredients for today’s lunch request. Along with the sudden memory of the garbage bag not left out last night. 
• And when the day ends, and you decide to give yourself some well deserved TV time, guess where the remote is. Surprise surprise - child 2 has decided to get back at child 1 by hiding it in such a fantastic spot that even child 1 can’t locate it now. Sigh!!! Back to threatening mass destruction if the remote is not found - happy Mother’s Day indeed.

That said, we mothers love our job. We may hate the pace, the expectations and the comp&ben. But we wouldn’t dream of delegating this bit of our life. Happy Mother’s Day to all the Real moms out there. Moms who look exhausted, worn out and like they could do with a shower. Moms who sometimes want to run out of the house screaming “I surrender ..... just give me my life back!” Moms who are overwhelmed by the responsibility of creating the citizens of the world tomorrow...... You Rock!!

Never say Never

When I stopped writing a few years ago, I made a pact with myself that I was no longer naive enough to think that putting words into paper (err... keyboard) would make me feel better about everything that happened around me. But here I am, prodigal child to the written word, with hopes and naivety intact.

If Life were a person, I absolutely KNOW what she's like. (Oh yeah! Its a She - no doubts about it)

Life .....

.... She's a no-nonsense friend. She doesn't give me a shoulder to cry on, or a moment to pity myself. She ensures I am enveloped by so many actionables in my routine, that I barely remember whether I am coming or going!

.... She's not a conversationalist. She demands intuitive action, sometimes making me do stupid things. Things that she ensures, teaches me something I hadn't known earlier.

.... She doesn't like excuses - I have tried and failed miserably when trying to get her to see why I shouldn't have lost that last round of  the game. She scoffs and scowls when I begin to stammer a reason for my failure

..... Nor is she a fan of my pride. She doesn't skip a beat to remind me who's ACTUALLY in-charge! God forbid, I have a moment when I am just a wee bit full of myself!

..... She does, however, employ services of her good friend Serendipity, when I am stuck in a corner sometimes. But not before I have tried every trick, bruised every muscle, used every ounce of my resources.

.... She uses her imaginative side, when she decides who to put in my path - from acquaintances who become support systems, to guest appearances who become inspirations, she directs this soap opera I call my life.

.... Funnily, she doesn't claim to be my friend. Nor my well wisher. She doesn't ask permission before she turns my world upside down. But she gives me love, strength and purpose - so I can sort my world all over again.

Hey Life! Guess what?

I may not know your scheme of things. I may stumble clumsily at every new turn. But I am learning to trust your instincts now. Thank you for being on my side, even when you're not.

The Unlikely Biriyani

Indian homes are very particular about the Indian food recipes during a hosting event. Every Indian woman was supposed to know how to cater to the extended family’s food habits – which explained the dialogue every Indian woman has grown up listening to: “Whatever will you do when you have to cook for your family?”

Yes, it is depressingly patriarchal, and definitely unfair to the daughters of this land. But what this did successfully for many decades was to percolate the culinary knowledge, with very little loss in transmission, through multiple generations of Indians. Today it is heartening to see menfolk in enlightened households pay as much attention, if not more, as the ladies of the house, in the culinary extravaganza that Indian cuisine lends itself out to.

The Kayastha community in Northern India, is one such community. This community developed as scribes to powerful Mughal rulers in India. Ofcourse, the fact that they were good with numbers and were mostly educated, helped in establishing their position as trusted accountants and record keepers of the royal books. Needless to say, their position and proximity to royalty impacted the most important facet of their lives – their food!

The Kayastha community is known for their love of food.  They consumed meat just like other Hindu Kshatriyas, but they also developed the sophistication of the Mughal kitchens in their cuisine. This explains the similarity of ingredients used between Muslim and Kayastha foods. Thus, all over North, Central and Eastern Indian states like Rajasthan, Uttar Pradesh, Madhya Pradesh and West Bengal, spread the unique Kayastha cuisine.    

A successful Kayastha hostess can baffle you with her ability to match vegetarian options that are no less elaborate than its mutton counterparts (always mutton – chicken is not even remotely as popular). Infact, the lady of the house beams with joy when an aromatic Jackfruit biriyani baffles her guests into wondering how meat could be so tender!  Or how a Bengal Gram  (kala chana) cutlet passes off as a mutton cutlet with some tricks to create texture.

Made during those feasts where vegetarian guests are expected, this Kathal (Unripe jackfruit) Biriyani is sometimes much more talked about than its illustrious mutton counterpart.

The recipe, perfected by many generations of fabulous cooks, now uses modern cookware – that is the only margin allowed to be changed! The trick is to fry the Jackfruit pieces till golden brown, and treat them as tender pieces of delicate meat while preparing a biriyani. Layering the half cooked Jackfruit chunks with aromatic rice and herbs is an art.

Only whole spices are used to flavor the biriyani, and a compulsory addition is potatoes. The test of the biriyani, learned cooks say, is for the Potato to carry in it, the same flavor as the aromatic rice and jackfruit (or meat, if a mutton biriyani). What is amazing to know, is that many of the womenfolk who cooked wonderful non vegetarian delicacies in the Kayastha communities, were confirmed vegetarians!

(Published first at www.morethanjustcurry.com - The Foodwalk Experts)

The Pepper Chronicles

The food of the Indian sub-continent has a distinction like none other –  food was not merely a medium to fill the stomach – it was a highly evolved science that had documented recipes, preservation methods and nutrition enhancement techniques built into it – and all this as early as pre-historic times.  No wonder the Indian sub-continent is one among the “Cradle of Civilizations”!!

And hence, it is no wonder that food assumed unparalleled importance in these civilizations. From being considered offering to Gods (Prasad, Naivedyam etc) to being compared to medicines in the Ayurveda, food has been assigned the highest position of purity and worship.

In fact, food was almost always sustenance with medicinal properties. Almost all the ingredients that were added, were done not only for taste, but also with an inherent healing property. And leading that list is our very own “black gold” – the black pepper.

Black pepper is one of the reasons India was a hot destination (pun intended!) for traders from across the globe – from Portuguese to Arabs, every trader who wanted to make it big came in search of this beautiful fruit which when dried and powdered, seduced the taste buds. No surprises why pepper is the most traded spice in the world!

Our forefathers knew various life hacks that this little fiery fruit brought to our dinner tables and medicine cabinets alike. We have also (albeit with a tiny bit of contempt and skepticism), listened to moms and grandmoms tell us how pepper is better than any “firangi medicine” to cure our common ailments. 

But guess what – these life hacks work! And motherhood is when I discovered most of them, since these were quick, effective home remedies, and one did not have to worry about side effects. So here goes: 

1. Add it to any savory dish to create a whopping flavor – continental, Indian, Chinese – you name it! Salads and steak to soups and buttermilk – use it for the zing. 
2. Digestive issues (well, most of them) are caused by the lowered production of hydrochloric acid in the stomach (for those of you who bunked bio class – yes! Your body produces it). Pepper is known to increase production of this acid in the stomach – which is why appetizers work wonderfully well with a healthy dose of pepper. Think pepper Rasam and you know what I’m talking about. 
3. Further with digestion, it aids in relieving gas issues. For people who complain of gas (the lower body kinds, not to be confused with the ones that people have in their heads – no cure for that!) try replacing red chilly powder in your food, with black pepper powder.
4. Every Mom in India knows this – drink a concoction that has pepper, either with honey or with ginger, to clear up the stuffy nose and chest congestion – absolutely safe for children.
5. Dandruff issues? Have no fear – black pepper is here. Mix about a teaspoon of crushed pepper to a bowl of curd. Apply to scalp for 30 minutes and wash off with cold (remember, never hot water!) water. Do not use shampoo. The antibacterial properties of pepper is good for any infection including dandruff.
6. Due to the same antibacterial property, pepper is a magical fix for acne as well. Crush pepper, and mix with some rose water, and use as a scrub – do remember to scrub gently!
7. Adding pepper in your regular diet will ensure you have a skin that is more resistant to ageing than most others
8. Remember the way you sweat when you have pepper? Well, that is another superhero property – pepper flushes out toxins and other icky stuff out of the body by causing sweating and increased urination.
9. Here’s a bonus for all who speak the metabolism jargon – pepper spikes up your metabolism rate. Translated into simple-folk language – it aids in weightloss (yay!!) if added in small quantities to your (healthy) meal. Adding it to Maharaja Mac doesn’t count, sadly.
10. To maximize the good properties of pepper, store pepper whole, and crush it when you need it. Use a good pepper mill – grinding it in the grinder will produce heat, lowering the effectiveness and the flavor.
11. Ants bothering you? Black pepper to the rescue! Just sprinkle black pepper in those corners and in between drawers to keep ants away! (hmmm..... much like pepper spray for other kinds of pests!)
12. Kids colorful clothes fading too fast? Just add a teaspoon of black pepper to one load of colored clothes to wash and the colors remain bright.
13. Trying to quit smoking? Try smelling black pepper – research has shown that the inhaling pepper oil causes reduced craving for nicotine.
14. Pepper is a ‘warming’ spice. Using pepper oil mixed with a carrier oil (that's any oil like olive, coconut, etc) to massage aching muscles after a heavy workout, or using it for arthritic joints will help relieve the pain.

Hoping you stock up your kitchen cupboard with this wonder spice, and find these life hacks useful. Do write back in the comments if you have tried any of this, or if you have any more interesting uses of pepper. Happy winters!

Memories and Flavors

Here’s something to tickle your foodie brains - see if you can identify the very familiar food that finds itself into every Indian home for any special meal. The clues:

• It stems from the Hindi word “to lick”
• Found in almost every color and consistency
• Can be made of anything -  from shrimps to dates, from sesame to fenugreek
• Your Grandmother probably made the best variant, and you still haven’t found how to get it just right (this is from my various failed experiments to recreate the magic of my Ammamma’s kitchen)
• Never mind the theme – this little addition peps up any party; whether you want a coastal seafood journey, or a vegetarian snack party – some avatar of our superhero dish brings out the best in every dish on the table

Still guessing? 

The humble Chutney that is a part of every Indian household across the length and breadth of the vast Indian subcontinent is the hero of our discussion today, folks!

Picture courtesy www.morethanjustcurry.com

From the coconut chutneys that grace the South Indian breakfast tables, to the fiery chutney that uses fermented fish and “bhoot jholakia” (the hottest chilly in the world!) in a Nagaland household; from the sweet and spicy mango chutney of the Gujarati feast, to the pungent radish Chutney with typical Kashmiri flavors, Chutneys instantly perk up any ordinary meal with its burst of flavors.

Chutneys originated as a quick fix to dress up a humble meal. But it also had to do with elongating the shelf life of perishable seasonal fruits and vegetables. In geographical conditions that sometimes became hostile, the Indian homemakers found ingenious ways to make seasonal produce last for weeks, sometimes months together by pickling, or curing them. These ingredients were then freshly ground, pounded and mixed together to form chutneys.

Chutneys also allowed clever cooks to bribe the palate a little – take for example the dried shrimp chutney in Kerala homes. In many Kerala homes that are non-vegetarian, a fish dish is the only way to coax family members into a satisfying lunch. But In the event the fish monger was a little late, or greedy, or the lady of the house was just feeling a little under the weather, she would just grind together a little dried shrimp with tangy raw mango and coconut, throw in a few curry leaves and ginger for flavor, spice it all up with a few whole red chillies – and voila! The shrimp chutney would bring a smile to the fussiest little eater.

And who can forget the spicy, flavorful garlic chutney that Vada Pav lovers swear by? I remember walking miles with a friend to find THAT particular street vendor whose chutney brought tears to the first time taster (some may claim they are tears of joy, but trust me, it’s the chilly), but once you got the hang of it, you couldn’t imagine a vada pav without it!

Sometimes, we are awed by the little flavor bombs that get placed, quite unceremoniously and without aplomb, next to its more illustrious main dishes. And when describing it to the less knowledgeable, we explain, with much pride and association, how our humble Chutneys fill our senses with flavors and tastes that stay in the mind for a long time.

And that, dear friends, is my New Year wish for you – may your year be filled with various flavors – sometimes intense, sometimes sweet, sometimes strange – but at all times enjoyable. Happy New Year !!

P.S. I have started the new year with a promise to myself that I would do stuff that makes me happy - so please say hi to my new venture with some like minded friends - More Than Just Curry - we are gourmet food tour curators... read more about us at www.morethanjustcurry.com or visit out FB page for a little more insight.

Golden Words

I chanced to speak with a mentor yesterday night. It was his birthday, and I remembered only just before the day had ended. The conversation was as it always had been - endearing, and inspiring. That conversation led me to believe that I was doing myself a great disservice by not writing my heart out.

So with a renewed vow to myself, and to all the beautiful people who have constantly reminded me that my last post was over two years ago, here I am, fingers poised on the keyboard, my mind taking slow, awkward steps to write a few lines.

Most of us have a personal hero-list. I mean the list of people we hero-worship..... parents, siblings, cousins, friends, teachers. I have managed to compile here, a few golden words by my personal heroes. Most of these, when I think back, have caused to change something in me to make me a better person.

But ofcourse, here I will NOT tell you the reference to context for fear of letting out more skeletons out of my closet than I really care to :-).

"Go play the game. If you win, we celebrate. If you lose, we celebrate the lesson we learnt." - Dad 

"There has to be some difficulties in your life. If not, would you ever remember to pray?" - Mom 

"Wait. Don't do anything stupid till I get there." - Friend 

"If you don't feel like jumping into your work clothes and rush to work, do something else - you've got only a few decades left to live!" - Boss

"You better take care of yourself, because I can't be there right now." - Friend  (yup! got married to the poor chap)

"Always put lesser salt than you think you need. Increasing it later is much easier than trying to save a dish with too much salt."- Mom 

"If you keep thinking that you just want finish what you are doing, in order to do something else, the task in hand will never get over." - Mom 

"If you feel the need to lie to me, just don't say anything." - Dad 

"Always have some boiled potatoes in the fridge."  - Mom (yup, she was one helluva life hack guru)

"I don't care what anyone thinks - what do you want?" - Sister 

"You will look back and regret it if you don't find time for your passion." - Mentor 

"You look nicer when you smile" - My kids

"I don't want a party for my birthday - just spend the whole day with me." - very young daughter

"You will always have people around you who love you immensely - you will never go wrong if you think of their well being at every step of your decision-making." - Mom

"Karma is your surest and easiest life insurance. Just keep doing the right things" - Mentor


I consider myself very lucky - not because I haven't seen difficult times. But because I have, and those difficult times have shown me the wealth I possess in the form of friends and family. This post is dedicated to all of you.

The Celebration called Life

​This post is for an Activity being organized and conducted by BlogAdda in association with Kolte Patil India

What does 'Celebration' mean? The Dictionary defines the word 'Celebration' as thus:

1. To observe a day with festivity or rejoicing
2. To perform a religious ceremony
3. To extol or praise
4. To make widely known; or display

Why do we end up waiting for an occasion to bring out the fine bone china dinner set? Why do we wait forever to wear that beautiful red dress we have tucked away for that 'special day'?Why do we wait for that rare get-together to meet up with people who were an important part of our lives at some point in time? Is not life, in itself, a beautiful gift worth celebrating?

Should we wait for the right occasions, the memories that strike us when it is a dear one's birthday, or anniversary; or when we reminisce the rituals in a festival? Or do we live each day to its fullest, breathing in deeply each lovely scent, filling our senses with each lovely sight - celebrating it?

To my mind celebrations occur each time:

• You wake up to the sound of birds chirping, and the sight of golden filigree of sunlight through the leaves of trees streaming into your room.

• You are able to hear muffled laughter of your children, who are trying to hide their own little jokes from you.

• When you watch their sleeping forms, and realize just how much they had played in the sun the whole day; and then sigh as you know they will soon outgrow their games.

After a  full day at play 

Can't even wait to finish food !

• In the midst of a busy day, you can sit with a cup of steaming coffee, with a book, right by that cosy corner in your room flooded with sunlight

My favorite spot in the world!

• In the kitchen when the little one discovers a new recipe, and it looks just like it does in the cookbook - and it tastes good too

• The uncomplicated, unconditional love you get when you come back home at the end of the day and your pet dog greets you like you have been away for years.

• When you just cannot stop laughing even when you know that the little one should be reprimanded

Yeah.... I am just too cute for my own good 

And many more such little moments that can be found so often within the confines of our own homes. Isn't each one of them worth 'celebrating'?

My very skeptical sub-conscious immediately jumps at me with the "Buts"....  Life isn't a bed of roses - we have head spinning amounts of worry..... our careers, our daily commuting challenges, the difficult financial decisions, the corrupt state of affairs of our country, the stench of the garbage piling outside our homes, the burglaries and the unsafe environment - everything makes us miserable.

However, there is no denying that the right house can solve many of the worrisome parts of our lives.  Kolte Patil Developers feel that a good house is the best way to celebrate life every day. In an attempt to revive the spirit of celebrating life, they have created the Ivy Estate in Wagholi near Pune, a property spread over 85 acres in the lap of nature, which marries modern amenities and natural charm perfectly. 

“#CelebrateLifeAtIvy by owning a dream home at Ivy estate, an 85 acre estate with 34 acres of greenery and open spaces. Join the 1600 happy families already living here. Check out this walkthrough video and decide for yourself.”

Silver Lining

Ever have those days when you feel the walls are closing in on you? When you arrive at the point where you feel everything you do, anything you do, is futile; that the world is still a cruel, sad place to be living in? That all your endeavors as a parent may just not work out?

Well, I did have a day like that. A day when I wondered if anything we did as parents was enough to make good people out of these little projects we have called children.

Why do I call them projects? Well, because they ARE - they live with us, they thrive on what we give out to them, but they don't BELONG to us. They are handed over to us by providence, or nature, or God (if you aren't an atheist) to nurture and place, when they are ready, into the world - much like a project.

Anyway, going back to the realization that we have so little control when it comes to raising them; how do we actually know that we are on the right track? Well, we don't know it. We can only take subtle hints thrown in by the great Sensei (yes, am a Karate Kid fan) called life.

We must be in the right direction if we see signs like these right?

• Kiddo aged seven, in all earnestness, wants to bring home every stray dog he can find. Though he was crestfallen when we told him dogs do not like to be kept indoors in his room, he decided he was going to feed them every chance he got.
• His elder sister, all of 11, wants to donate her books to a kid who cannot go to school. We have gone to great lengths to un-label, put in fresh covers and re-label her old books to give them out - all at her insistence.
• When the adults in the house (that translates as me and hubby) fight over things that matter little to them, the brother-sister duo spare no words to let us choose between being "sent to the Principal" or "shake hands and be friends again". 
• They call up their grandparents to tell them how much they loved the biryani they ate at their place. (And then promptly proceed to tell them embarrassing truths of my home!)
• Little fellow comes home from cricket match one day singing "Chikni Chameliiiiiii, Chup ke akeliiiiiiii, Kowa chadhake Ayi"  When we explained to him that the song was not really about a pet crow (Kowa) - and that kids don't actually sing these songs, he promptly replaced the song with "Jungle jungle baat chali hai......." (You know the rest!)
• Little one propped his pudgy little hand on my cheek and asked me how mosquitoes knew the blood group of the people they were drinking blood from. (we had just filled out his medical form where we had filled out his blood group as well)
• 11 year old wears a dress, but looks at the mirror, and decides she looks fat. However, she changes her mind when the little fellow looks at her closely, and gives her the best compliment she has ever got - "You can sit with me in the birthday party." 
• After a PTM meeting (let me assure you, its more stressful than business meetings) that went particularly well, little one asks, "Mom, are you inpred with me?" (that is 'impressed' in baby talk)
• Elder one comes home one evening upset that a friend spread lies about her in school. So when I asked her what she wanted to do, she said she would ask her friend about it. Because, "she is my 'bestest' friend!"
• On another occasion, when she found out that our domestic help could not understand English, she was distressed and started tutoring her. Watching the elder sister tutoring, the little one promptly brings out his crayons, and declares to the bewildered woman, "Now I will teach you coloring!"

Amidst laughter and tears I realize how maybe, just maybe, we are doing it right!

copyright @Pinterest

Living Life Queen Size

This is a post towards Housing.com

Everyone knows that the first time you do anything, you need tons and tons of courage to take that first step forward. Especially if that one step means changing your entire life! And we do come across many such crossroads in our lives - one of which is when you leave the home you have lived all your young growing up years to become an independent adult.

I am sure we can all relate to the feelings and emotions that course through our hearts at that point - apprehension of actually, really being on our own, alone, fear of not being able to manage fending ourselves, excitement at getting a chance of living life on our own terms, pride of having been able to take that step.

I moved out of my parents' home quite early on. Professional college not only taught us the ropes in the academic world - it also taught us what taking care of ourselves really meant. It meant that when you walked into your tiny rented apartment you shared with 3 more (similarly mortified) strangers, you could not call out to your Mom that you were famished, and find hot, delicious food on the table. It meant that every scrap of paper, every piece of clothing that you left on the floor, was still lying there waiting for you when you came back tired and irritated. It also meant that water bills, electricity bills and anything that had to do with you paying for something, was your responsibility.

Four clueless individuals (including me), with no experience of living alone and armed with glorified visions of 'living on our own' thrown together to fend for themselves, DO NOT make for smooth, dignified existence. Needless to say, we had hilarious moments of learning in our lives.

The first few days we made do with basic amenities, which meant a bed, some bed spreads borrowed from Mom, a couple of towels and (the so important) bucket, mug and toiletries. And we guarded them with our lives!

As we learnt more things about surviving on our own, we discovered packaged foods, and also how to keep them hidden from plain view. We also learnt that parents sending food to us DID NOT mean that we ate all of it ourselves. Gradually, we learnt the art of keeping count of spending. We learnt that money somehow had this uncanny ability to stretch itself out during the last few days of the month - which meant that the last 100 Rupees in the wallet stayed untouched during the last lap of the month.

We also learnt to clean! Yes, frequencies were a matter of much heated debates, but we did learn how to keep our corner of the room clean. Bedspreads on the beds were protected (with requisite threats and violence if required) from dirty feet of others - even if that meant spreading out last week's dirty sheet ON TOP of the current one!

The landlords were a sweet middle aged couple who sometimes took pity on us and called us over for dinner, only to be shocked at the amount of food that we puny skeletons (we then were) could tuck into our bellies. We were given tips on how to wash clothes, how to keep them from flying off in the wind when drying them, how to fill out water in the morning so that we are not left high and dry (literally) in the middle of a shower.

The years spent in that little apartment, with well-intention-ed, but clueless friends amidst all the chaotic learning, were perhaps the best lessons we have learnt as young adults.

Make way.... the "Smart" phone is here!!

Have you noticed how people end up buying the kind of stuff that are an extension of their own personalities? It is more so when it is something that you are literally going to be living with - let's face it - today you do end up spending more time with mobile phones than you do with flesh-and-blood counterparts right?

In such a scenario, it would be relevant to spend oodles of time researching why a certain phone would suit you or not. 

The recently launched ASUS ZenFone 2 is one such phone we discuss today. While my technological knowledge is matched only by my uncanny ability to speak fluent Mongolian (that, folks, is my way of saying I know neither of the two ), I will still attempt to understand 5 ways in which my life can be made easier by this phone - just in case someone out there was planning to gift me one :-). 

1. Speed : The ASUS ZenFone has 4 GB RAM. Now what that translates as to me is that I can, without much hair-pulling frustration, move between the cake recipe on a sumptuous blog post, and the videos that my friends send me on whatsapp - while also navigating through Google maps. Simply put, there is far less waiting time between the apps. Heck maybe the laptop can be given a miss when travelling!!
2. Battery Life : Phones today are the lifeline to people who have to be moving, yet have to be accessible all the time - and I am no exception. Whether it is our kids, the babysitter, the office, the better half, one needs to be connected all the time. Who isn't familiar with the pangs of fear that strikes our hearts when we have the battery in the red, with not too much time to charge it? Ask and you shall get, apparently! Lo behold - this phone charges itself like Superman on an energy drink!! 
3. Pictures : How many of you have had the disappointing moment when the baby gives you a killer smile, you try to capture it, and baby decides to squint right when the flash goes off? What say you get a camera with zero shutter lag and no need for a flash? Yeah! That should do it, right? Picture perfect.
4. No hanging : Need I say more? Switching off and switching on the phone to get the damn thing to un-hang may just be a thing of the past with this phone. Just this one feature could be a life-changing experience.
5. The looks : Judging by the pictures, the phone would be drool-worthy. From the high screen to body ratio, to the shining metallic back cover, this is a luxuriously fine looking piece of art, which at the price, looks much more expensive than it actually is. Wouldn't hurt to be seen holding it huh?

Well.... that's my list, am sure there are more.

This was a post about ASUS India .

Home is where the Heart is

I had finally made it back home. The delayed flight, the extra few hours spent in horrible city traffic, and my few days of separation from my family was wearing me down. With each passing minute of delay in the flight, in the traffic on the road, I could feel my heart beating faster than ever before. I was supposed to have reached a couple of hours earlier. 

One would think whats a few hours after three days of being away, right?

Wrong! Every minute was taking me closer to being paranoid - even though I was constantly in touch with the kids on phone. Random negative thoughts crossed my mind 

• What if the kids are not well? I'd just called them... they seemed fine....
• What if they go off to sleep before I reach? ..... Well, it is a school night ...its better that they do... I can see them tomorrow.
• What if they were angry with me for being late?

 I was thinking of every imaginable thing that could go wrong if I wasn't there with them.

I reached the doorbell, and before I could ring it, I heard shouts from inside.

"Mummmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......." Music to my ears. My little kids ran to me vying with each other to get into my arms. I had to switch from standing to hug my older one, to kneeling to get to the little one. Sloppy kisses and lots of deafening 'I love you's, I was able to disengage from them enough to get out of my travel clothes. I was so glad my husband had kept them awake till I reached home.

My older one, the seven year old girl, gave me a good night hug and rushed to her bed - she had school tomorrow and it was well after midnight. My two year old, however, had other plans. He snuggled up close to me and brought out his favorite book. And then he said something. Something that sounded like "Wound-wound-shircle" .......

I asked "What, baby?" And he repeated the same. I look around to see if my husband heard him too... then I looked at what he was pointing .... sure enough, he was pointing to a very large, very round circle indeed!

I shouted out to my husband.... "Did you hear that? He knows a circle!" 

I was happy and excited, till I saw my husband walk in with a smile.... he had heard it earlier!! I had missed the first time he said that!

Husband laughed and said, "He knows a Wectangle and a Twi-angle too"....... with a look that I usually have when I report a 'first time'. 

He then proceeded to hug me, and tell me we had so many more firsts to come - the first fallen tooth, the first day at school, the first scraped knee........ and we would be there, to share the news with each other. Needless to say, my son must have said many words by now.... but I will fondly remember "Wound-Wound-Shircle" for as long as I live.

This is a post towards Housing.com

Warm tales and cold Banana Fritters

This is a post written towards Housing.com 

During the course of living life in the urban world, life as I knew it had changed. People kept telling me that it was for the better. Yet others who knew me well told me it was but a passing phase, and I would feel much better. But I knew the truth - that I was moving fast into a routine where I didn't even have time to feel.

I was working hard, trying to blend in a demanding career, a family with two growing children, and still recovering from the death of a parent. The acquaintances in my life would have thought that I had it all - a career, a loving family and a happening life. That I was reeling under pressure to keep everything afloat, was truth only known to me.

It was during one of the much dreaded work trips to Mumbai (I live in Delhi, and these work trips added to my stress, as I had to leave behind the kids for 2 to 3 days) that I decided to finally call up a friend I hadn't spoken to in years - since we parted ways from college. Completely expecting the person on the other end of the call to pick up the phone, exclaim some nicety, and then hang up after a future promise ("we have to meet some time"), I picked up the phone and called.

I was in for a surprise. She insisted we meet - no, its not late; no, we don't have to worry about traffic in the city; no, the conference can end whenever, but Mumbai never sleeps. 

So it was settled - we were to meet, after 15 years! She also managed to call up other mutual friends nearby, and I walked into a cosy gathering of 4 friends. I was tired, looked as if I hadn't seen a bed or a comb in weeks, wearing terribly boring work clothes that were crumpled beyond limits. The reception I got, however, took my attention away from anything even remotely pessimistic - I was among friends. The same friends who cared not if I was successful in my career, who did not judge if I was a little conscientious than most parents, who was overjoyed just to see me.

The evening progressed into much lived, and relived moments of our growing up years, all the time we thought the simple problems in our lives would end the world. We had warm soft drinks and beer (the ice got over) and cold snacks - but it was the best meal in days! One of my favorite snack as a child was hot, sweet, banana fritters (called pazham pori in Malayalam), which I was eating (albeit cold) after years - the taste of that simple, uncomplicated dish brought out tears that one of the friends noticed.  

 As the night progressed, she started telling me about the difficulties that she had been able to live through, and goaded me to talk. And talk we did - late into the night, infact till dawn broke. And I discovered, rather, re-discovered my love of life. I knew I had a long fight ahead, but the stopover with people who loved me for who I was, unconditionally, put things into perspective for me. 

I got back into the stressful rigmarole we call life, but at my pace, with my priorities leading the way - I did not let the essence of what I had always been get eroded by what I may consider important; and I think I owe a lot of that to my chance meeting over warm hugs and cold banana fritters.

a letter to my Crush

In an attempt (a tad rebellious maybe) to be honest to the only thing that screams "THE REAL ME" - my blog, I continue to write truthful letters. This is the second one

Dear Complicated,

I know of no other name by which to call you, as you had always complicated my thoughts. I write this letter so that I may finally, honestly, claim that I told you how I feel - even if I am relieved by the fact that you may never read this letter, or the fact that you may read it, but never know that its you I am talking about. See? I told you it was complicated.

The first time I saw you, I wanted to see you closer - maybe look into those eyes that were so intriguing. Of course, the stuttering fool in me ensured I could not speak even a few decent lines in your presence. Yes, you were intimidating - and I don't say this only as someone who had my heart on my sleeve - you seemed to have that effect on many people!

We spoke - many times, as our paths crossed often. I guess I noticed every movement, every glance, every syllable from your mouth. I had played it over and over in my head  - in slow motion, wondering each time whether you meant something when you said random words, or passed amused glances my way.

You were tall - tall enough that I could spot you in an crowd. I could recognize the sound of your voice, your laughter - and your bike from a distance. I knew all your best friends, and even became friends with them. But you? You I could not befriend - maybe because I was such a klutz around you, or maybe because you already knew how I felt and didn't feel the same way.

I have moved on - life has that to its credit - I found my love, my happiness and where I belong. But you, my dear Complicated, will always make me dreamy-eyed and weak-kneed.

Love,

The one who chickened out.

A letter to my best friend

Before I begin this post, I want to report what happened to me for the last few months. I was abducted by aliens, who tried to test my IQ levels by attaching wires to my head. They then discovered that there was actually nothing they could find, so released me. I think they are a happy lot now, since they think all humans have the same level of intelligence that they found in me.

Well, that really didn't come out the way it should have, but what the hell! I have decided I am going to write a few posts without editing it in my head. So anyone who is still out there reading this, go ahead at your own risk!

I have been inspired to take on a challenge from a blog I have been reading in my sabbatical.... errr..... alien abduction. Shail's blog has been one of the blogs I have been hooked to for a long time. And maybe, this challenge might help me kick my butt to write a little more often.

So, about this challenge - its aptly called a 30 day letter challenge, where we write letters (Yes, those things we wrote - not typed - to people who stayed far away, or people who we couldn't talk to in person. Case in point - the smuggled in love letters). And the first of these letters are to a best friend - so here goes!

Dear B.F.F. (that's what they call you these days, I am told),

Till a time in my life, when asked to name a best friend, I would have rattled off a string of names still leaving me thinking that I'd left out a few. Those were good times - when the biggest worry one had was that a notebook had been misplaced, or that lunch time was still two classes away! But these times didn't last, and along came what they called the young adult ( the 'adult' bit being debatable) phase - where we made world shattering discoveries and mind numbing decisions. But the good thing was that this phase also brought you along with it.

We've all heard of love at first sight, haven't we? But is there something called friendship at first sight? Because only that could explain the phenomenon we had. First time we spoke, we knew this was way more than pleasantries, or even just hostel room-mates. We had what could be called chemistry - one that was explosive and soothing at the same time. Well okay... explosive for everyone around us and soothing for us when we got in trouble together.

There were fights, weren't there? Little ones that made us miserable and big ones that made us take irrational stands. But when it came to standing up for me, you had done it - whether  I was right or wrong. You walked with me, when it was against every shred of survival to do so. You fought with me to stop me from making decisions obviously clouded by love, hatred, foolishness or alcohol. And when I eventually did do what I wanted to, you stood there to pick me up and dust me off to face another day.

Life may have taken us on strikingly parallel paths today, with so similarity, yet so much geography between us. But the most wonderful thing about you and me is just that - it doesn't really matter how far away you are - you are always the first one I think of calling when I have a secret to share. I can only hope that I have been as giving as you are, in this crazy journey we call life.

P.S. You know we should have just run away together!! :-)

Your crazy friend

Why the Success of Queen is so heartwarming.....

The world and their aunts are raving about Queen. I had tried to keep away from as much of the review as I could - for the simple reason that I didn't want to create hyped up expectations. But it was difficult to do, with everyone talking, writing and debating about the movie, and Kangana's depiction of a first-of-a-kind coming of age film of a woman.

Ofcourse the film delivered - passed through flying colors on every expectation. Let me attempt a list without giving away too much of the story...

• Bang on depiction of the much talked about middle class, protective, loving, yet patriarchal family (asking the fiance whether she could work, the little brother tagging along everywhere she goes etc)
• Kangana's face acting as a wonderful canvas of emotions - shock, frustration, fear, awe, resignation, anger, realization, and ofcourse, disillusionment, enlightenment and sheer joy.
• The dream supporting cast - beautiful and bold women, sensitive and easy-on-the-eyes men. (yes indeed, there are guys that can make you swoon just by blinking their eyes)
• Oodles and oodles of inner strength and courage - not to mention humor

But this post is not a review, it is an awed realization that we have, unanimously, as a nation, welcomed the movie with open arms. A movie which has shown 'culture' and patriarchy on a lighter vein. We have not taken to the streets protesting that the movie has 'corrupted' the minds of our 'behen-beti'; or that there are semi-nude sex workers sharing screen space with the protagonist. We have laughed at the chest-beating auntyjis and the overbearing mummyjis and the confused desi-turned-pseudo-videsi groom.

 

In the theater, it was a welcome sight to see women and men of all ages living through the ordeals and little triumphs of a lovable young woman, who is an unwilling, unaware champion of equality. Yes, she strikes a chord with many of us, but whats more is that, she made us think.

 

This is a post written with a smile that comes from realizing that all may not be lost, yet. For surely, a society that can look at the portrayal of a woman breaking free of years of patriarchal conditioning, can, someday, accept that this will happen in real life too. Right?

Why Feminism is everyone's job

Spicy Saturday pick for 8th March

 Debates and outrages have been expressed for and against the 'feminism' wave that has been doing the rounds. And yet, if you go around asking people the meaning of feminism, you get answers that make you cringe.

Some definitions by 'educated' men and women:

• "Feminism is where women want to be men" - accompanied by a smirk
• "When women do not want to do any housework, or take any responsibility, its called feminism"
• "When they want to party all night like the boys" - this came from a so-called liberal lady in an urban household
• "Feminism is anything that tells the women that our culture is bad."

The dictionary says that Feminism is a collection of movements and ideologies aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women - not more, not less.

A corollary here - is feminism only a woman's prerogative? Is patriarchy only a woman's problem? I am guessing most of us, even the feminists among us, think it is. Unknowingly, we slight this very important revolution by assuming it is a woman's issue. Truth is, our patriarchal views don't seem to be subsiding in any way because we seem to think that this societal movement is only relevant to about 50% of the world's population (even lower if you take only India into consideration).

Because if words like 'equality' and 'equal opportunity' and 'freedom' are meant to be war cries of only half the people (who are unaware, sometimes unwilling at that) crusading for this, it will never work.

Thousands of debates - big and small, friendly and ugly, thought evoking and absolute bullsh*t - come to my mind right now. All discussions speak of how men 'ought to' be some way or do something because they are 'considerate' to the womenfolk.

We all know what patriarchy has done to the women of our land:

• the girl child is considered 'paraya dhan' and is raised thus
• dowry and marriage is the prime worry the moment a girl is born
• lets not even talk about dowry deaths, maternity deaths and child marriages
• unequal distribution o wealth and opportunities
• denied education or higher education
• pressures to 'adjust' to marriage and married life
• decisions on what to wear, where to live, who to live with are all taken by others

..... and the list goes on. I am not including here the macro issues like the rape psychology or domestic violence, which have their roots in patriarchy.

But does it affect the men? Let me rephrase that - does it really do no harm to the 'privileged' menfolk in our society? A few questions that perhaps the men may be able to answer

• If the men were not raised with the pressure of being the 'provider' would they have pursued their passions more often?
• If boys were not told that tears or emotions or vulnerability are a sign of being a 'wimp' or a 'sissy' would they have made better friends, spouses and parents; not to mention better citizens?
• In the urban world today, wouldn't it be easier for men to find partners who they can connect with if there were no patriarchal rules to follow - for them and the women around them?
• If traditional roles did not dictate who pursues ballet and who plays rugby, wouldn't many men benefit too?
• Wouldn't there be fathers who want to spend more time with their children while their equal partners pitch in to be the bread-winner?
• Wouldn't men themselves want to live in a society with added economic productivity and reduced violence? 

What we fail to realize as a society is that patriarchy did have a role to play in civilizations that were still evolving; perhaps in the nascent stages of these civilizations, physical strength was the only measure to decide who was superior; just like skin color was deemed to be the deciding factor in some societies. And didn't human race, as a unit, rebel against slavery, apartheid and caste systems? Why then, is the cause of feminism any different?

Today, defining roles, or confining certain roles or following different rules, based on people's genitals is just as silly as deciding to get treatment from a doctor depending on their hair color!!

And that, is the true meaning of feminism.

*let me tell you where this rant begins from - it has to do with the exasperating questions that 'educated' people have been asking me about refusing to differentiate between my son and my daughter. For them -

NO, I will not tell my daughter that dolls are more becoming of her than her brother's cricket bat.

NO, I will not expect my son to 'protect' his sister - because if the need arises, she will have access to her own brains, and be able to kick a** just as he would.

NO, I will not expect my daughter to rush in with a duster to wipe off spilt water - unless my son learns to do it too.

NO, I will not tell the kids that the Armed forces is a good career option for my son, and Teaching is the best option for my daughter.

Of Broken Hearts and Bonds

A young friend got his heart broken recently. Crushed to smithereens when a long time relationship did not work out. Of course, as friends, we all worry for him, and we all hope he comes out of this unscathed. This is not the only time I have seen a close friend go through a phase in life when all that matters is what they lost.

This young man is almost family for me and he is about a decade ahead of my son. My son and daughter hopefully have a long time before they ever go through something like this, but I can't help penning down my thoughts for them - whenever they are old enough to understand this! So here goes - for you, 'N' - and for my little Gs.

Dear little Gs (I know you aren't little any more),

Firstly, I know you keep thinking I am ancient and all that. Well, unfortunately, that's true - you and I, we are separated by a couple of decades. But maybe, just maybe, I may remember all that it felt to be your age.

You, my dear, are precious to me; and to many people who know you intimately. For us, you have a million wonderful qualities and a few flaws which somehow, make you more endearing to all of us.

Just thinking of you brings a smile to my face, and I find myself thanking providence for having conspired to bring you into my life. (ok..... I may have said otherwise at times, but you both KNOW how exasperating you two can get) Believe me when I say that I am proud of what you have turned out to be, of what you have achieved and of what you will achieve in your life.

What you feel today, is not something that I could take away, even if I tried. You might feel dejected, unsure and disinterested. You might also doubt the very existence of that elusive find called love. You may have a few bouts of I-just-want-to-sleep-out-this-nightmare phases, or a few days when you just don't want to see anyone smiling in this world.

But what if I told you that even if I could, I would not want to protect you from this hurt? What if I told you that this, my dear, is part of who will become in the future? Don't get me wrong - it pains me no end to think that you may be shedding angry tears, or may be working too much to fend off the pain.

But let me tell you what my heartbreak had taught me. It taught me that no incident is stronger than my own will to rise above it - as you too, will soon discover for yourself.

It taught me that trying to find my happiness in someone else is possible only if I am happy with myself.

It taught me that the strongest bonds in this world are the ones that you don't have to labor at. The bonds that seem to last a lifetime are not the ones that try to shape you into someone else - these are the relationships that accept you the way you are, but help you evolve into a secure, confident and truthful young man or woman.

But more than anything, it taught me that in the darkest, deepest hour, I have relationships that don't attach conditions to its existence - unconditional bonds that help me steer into actions or decisions that made me a better person.

Lastly, do not be scared to put your heart out there again, and yet again, my dears. For love, no matter how elusive, does find the heart that thrives on it. Oh, and while you are at it, do remember to laugh along through any opportunity that you may find - you wrinkle much slower that way :-) .

Exams for Mommy - Condition Serious Hai!

Exams - the stuff that nightmares are made of, nights that you resented Dad yanking the cable connection off, or the cold winter mornings when Mom just pulled the snug blanket off to get you up before sunrise to do that dreaded thing called 'revision'.

Suddenly, the "seriousness" quotient of the whole world would climb up a few notches. Parents, grandparents, neighbors, the electricity board  (remember how the power cuts would happen right when you were ready to start peeling open the books?) and even the neighborhood stray dogs, would wear a glum, serious air about themselves.



Once past the mandated post graduation, I thought I had left behind those dreaded days. Well, think again. Exams have come back with a vengeance, and how!

No, I have NOT lost my mind, nor decided to shock my unassuming spouse and do my PHD. I am merely taking you through yet another agonizing phase of parenthood - one that no one warned me about! I am talking of karma coming to bite you in the derriere...... the kiddos' exams!

Even worse are the situations where you end up meeting other parents who are battling the same woes as you are. Some familiar situations during the exam season, where you wish people would take a heavy dose of anti-seriousness medications :

Scenario 1 :
Occasion : PTM meet (for those who still haven't been hit by the asteroid called parenthood, PTM means Parent - Teacher Meeting)
Teacher with a no-nonsense look and a dreadful looking pile of answer sheets in front of her. You know that one of those red-tinged white sheets is filled with your child's endearing but utterly stupid answers. Sweaty palms and silly smile, you approach her, looking and feeling every bit the guilty parent you are. After all, your child did score a few marks less than she did last year! You make an immediate pact with yourself to start spending more time on the child's studies from now on; if only the teacher let you off the hook this time. Instantly, you are transported two decades back in time, where you sat cringing in front of your teacher.

The cringing gives way to stammered responses when the teacher gives one disapproving glance at you. "Errr.... Ma'am, no I haven't actually made a time table for the kiddo at home, but I do ensure that he eats, sleeps, plays and studies regularly..... No Ma'am, I meant "play"... as in when the kid runs around with other kids and laughs hysterically when he falls and scrapes his knee? Not heard of it?"
 

Scenario 2 :
Occasion : Some much needed retail therapy
You are shopping with a vengeance, trying to get some of the exam depression out of your veins, when you spot a fellow parent, wrought with the same nightmares as you. The only difference - her child is the class topper. Needless to say,  you try to blend in with the surroundings, using the tiny mannequin to hide your enviable frame. But with the kind of luck you've been having these days, the super-mom decides to check out that very mannequin, bumping into you.

Ofcourse, the only think she wants to talk about is the exam syllabus and the woes of losing that one mark.You haven't heard half of what she is rambling about, and suddenly panic sets in as you remember your kid is in the same class! Panic converts into full fledged hyperventilation when you discover that said parent knows the exact page number of every question that has been asked since Man discovered fire!

Makes one wonder, doesn't it? We have managed to take the joy of learning and discovery, and convert it into a competitive sport that everyone dreads. Not just education, we do it with everything that crosses our path. Don't believe me? Lets see.....

Kiddo loves dancing?  Well, just enroll him into a dancing school, put him through  grueling schedules just so he can go participate in a competition. Kid good in sports? Well, lets just step in and take away the joy of playing and get her to worry about competing.

See the pattern here? This is the scary pattern of the very contagious disease called #ConditionSeriousHai
which can only be cured by regular doses of laughter, friends and tasty treats.

This is a post that has been written for the contest by indiblogger and Cadbury 5 star for the #ConditionSeriousHai contest.

Child's Play? Not so easy......

“Child’s play” – the  dictionary says that the idiom means ‘a task which is easily accomplished’. Really? Well, let’s take a look at a child’s life shall we?

'You thought it's easy?'

• 6.00 am (or earlier, if it is close to exam time!!):  Wake-up call by a hassled mom or a screeching alarm clock (sometimes both)  
• 6.15 am (while snoozing with the toothbrush / in the toilet / with the milk glass) Get screamed at by Mom / Dad / Grandparents / every other member of the house - for being late
• 7.00 am: Pick up a 10 kg bag, and sprint into the school bus, jostle with other kids and find a seat. Then travel through a pollution laden city to reach school 
• 8.00 am to 2.00 pm: Cram the little head with logarithms, chemical formulae and history dates. If really lucky, add a dash of peer pressure and sibling rivalry. Then back home through maddening city traffic and obnoxious levels of carbon monoxide in the air. 
• 3.00 pm to 6.00 pm: Continue with the cramming, but with the tuition teacher, the dance teacher and the Kung-Fu instructor. (Oh! I forgot – if the parents are ambitious, add a few more classes like horse-riding, ballet, advanced trigonometry and not to forget the most important – entrance coaching!!) 
• 6.00 pm:  Math homework, Science projects, and English assignments. Not to mention the discussion with Mom and Dad why Rahul scored more than Divya, or why Sakshi could get that sum right and David couldn’t. 
• 10.00 pm:  Dinner, and set the 10 kg backpack for tomorrow’s battle.  (Sometimes, crash out on the couch before dinner out of sheer exhaustion.)

 

 

Sigh!!!! Now exactly which part of this punishing ritual seems easy? 

Needless to say, once a human being becomes a parent, their entire world starts to revolve around the little divine beings called children. Rightly so too, because children are, after all, the future of the world.As parents, things that did not seem to matter a few years ago suddenly seem to be the most important things : whether almonds help in memory, or whether the cartoon show has too much violence in it when the cat gets hit by the mouse, or the most common – whether the child is healthy.

Health of their children is on every parent’s worry list, and so it is in mine. From the moment I knew there was a little heart beating inside of my body, I had started worrying about my baby.  And once she was born, every little yawn, every little sneeze and every tearful cry brought out the worst thoughts in my head.

Gradually, I learnt, along with the equally astonished father, that immunity was the key to ensuring the little one lived a normal, healthy life. The first lesson we learnt was that health was NOT equal to just proportional height and weight.

Surprised? Well, yes, growth of the body was a definite indication, but that was not all. What also contributed, was the healthy growth of the body and mind.

The second lesson was that you can’t control everything in the life of the little one – such as allergies, or little bumps on the head from the trying-to-crawl days. So yes, there were external factors and internal factors that affected the immunity of my precious one. I could, for example, ensure that my little one wore her snug winter clothes, but she would still sneeze when we stepped out into the cold. The only solution to combat the external factors was to ensure that her little body was strong and her little mind was agile – by working on her integral immunity by ensuring a few basics

1. Natural Nutrition : This is first in my list, because it is something that is strongly influenced by the parents. Conscientious parents work towards a balanced diet, ensuring all the necessary minerals and vitamins are available to the growing body. Natural foods, with minimal processing, is the best source. This, along with any supplements (such as this) for rare vitamins and minerals forms the best shield against ailments. We Indians, have a rich heritage of Ayurveda to aid in this front. 
2. Activity : Play in an open green area is not only a healthy choice for exercising the muscles. It also helps increase metabolism, oxygen intake, and a holistic development of a child – the laughter that fills your life with joy is bonus. We had ensured that the children had access to gardens, swings and trees – TV, computer games and I pads were only when it was raining outside. And guess what – they never complained!

   

   The best form of Vitamin D - and laughter!!

3. Education : Let me reiterate – not literacy, but education. This meant we had to educate them of each and every practice that made them a better human being, and created a happier environment around them. Ofcourse, this was easier said than done. We had to change so many of our own habits to ensure that the children had the right example.

4.      4. Conviction and hope : This is perhaps, the toughest ingredient. In a time when the whole world is trying to outdo each other, staying true to oneself is something that determines one’s mental health. Similarly, optimism and hope adds to their well-being. 

The underlying prerequisite is that growing children need to be immune to the stress, the various illnesses and the exhaustion that they are constantly handling. Only once this is ensured, can proper development of their mental and their social skills occur. This in turn, ensures a stronger, healthier nation.

This post is an entry for the "Immune India" contest by Indiblogger and Dabur India.