Monday, March 8, 2010

And then He made Woman.....

Why do men complain they don't understand women? I mean we all know the millions of jokes that are floating around on the net, in conversations, in joke books and in our minds when it comes to women - they way they talk, walk, drive, plan, on of course, shop!

But ask a woman and she'll tell you how really simple the woman's world is!! Ten rules in our rulebook (there are a hundred others, but don't want to scare you....)

1. We love to love - we are smitten by the feeling of love... and not just for the children and the man (or men - what the heck!!) in our lives. It also extends to the little stray pup in the neighbourhood, and the characters out of a good tearjerker! So please don't laugh at our feelings of love!

2. We are perfectly capable of doing 1o different things at the same time. We mange to do household chores while on the phone, or on the T.V. We manage to plan the route to the local grocers to include the letter drop off, the electricity bills, the social visit to the old aunt, the school pick up of the kids and the hairstylist....... Remember the joke about the shortest route to the shop and back? This is the reason why!! The men in our lives - please understand, we have a microchip in our brains that help us program all this, and so don't EVER repeat that joke again!

3. We have a memory chip in our brains - especially where events, words, dates and fights are concerned. And when all of these combine together, the memory is burned into the chip - and will surface at regular intervals - 50 years later too!! Tough luck! You can help by writing stuff down in your diaries so that we hit the same page, and we don't have to clarify "when did I ever say that?"

4. We like - no - love the right words. So even if you don't mean it, please use them sometimes. We know you don't mean any of it, but it just helps remind us who you conned us into believing you were!! And helps us remain in love with you (refer point number one!!)

5. We understand colors, weather, and moods a few shades better than the dictionary. Actually, we insisted on putting up the colors that exist there already. The reason again, is the little chip called 'intuition' that causes this disconnect from normal mortals. Please learn to appreciate this gift, or at least not ridicule it! ( After all, we don't ridicule the time machine in your head that makes you a 6 year old every time you see a cricket match!)

6. We care what you think, and what the neighbors think, and what the lady at the bookstore thinks... which means we are careful dressers and match our accessories for the trip to the local bank. Again it is worth your while to remember that these were the very traits that made you think we are perfect.... so please learn to live with it!

7. We have a huge friends circle, and we love to keep expanding it. We have acquaintances from work, the neighborhood, the kids' school, the sweet lady we met in the train, and of course our friends from school still meeting up once in a while! At least remember a few of the names!!

8. Many of us are not good with navigation, but then, we do know which ice cream flavor YOUR great aunt loves.... so we are even!!

9. We love the kids as much as you do, rest assured. Someone has to scream at them for the general good of all mankind - so why not let us do the dirty job in peace?

10. We take up jobs which no one wants - make the 'caves' beautiful, make the kids beautiful, play the politically correct relative, remember the occasions AND be the ones calling up to wish occasions, meeting the kids' teachers when we KNOW we are going to be appalled at what we will definitely hear from them .................. can you blame us for wanting a little pat on the back (would be better if it was a nice rub on the back, with lavender oil... but nonetheless ...... ) once in a while??