Friday, August 24, 2012

Vacation fit for God?

Well, it all started with this competition by Indiblogger, and seeing that I've not been to any other country (Dubai doesn't count - it's an extension of Kerala anyway!), this seemed to be the right opportunity for me to venture out. All I needed to do was win this competition on Indiblogger, which has like, oh..... maybe a thousand fantastic bloggers...... Piece of cake!!

(A word of advise to the readers : There are awesome links all through the post, which helped me in my research. Do visit these links - they are really helpful if anyone is planning a trip to Melbourne)

God and I sometimes have conversations when the rest of the world is snoring into oblivion. God, incidentally, is my mentor in cynicism and irony.

(Yeah!Yeah! I know You're Omnipotent and all that - But lets tell these good people how You and I reached that deal, shall we? Just so that they don't waste their time competing for the prize!)

So anyway, I reminded God how good I've been lately, and how badly I needed God to make exceptions to 'thou shalt not be greedy'! I did a lot of research at the official Melbourne website, and the resultant conversation went something like this:

Me : God, now that we've known each other for over three decades, don't You think it's time I got my friendship day present?

God : You've been spending too much time at Archie's gift shops haven't you? Anyway, what is it that you wish for?

Me : I want to go to Melbourne....... No, actually, I want to win this competition..... No, actually, I want to visit all these lovely places in Melbourne, after winning the competition that will take me there.

(There! that should take care of the 'watch what you wish for - it just might come true' fallacy)

God (trying to keep a straight face) : Win? The way you write? That really is pushing it too far, my child. Anyway, why Melbourne?

Me (gushing for required effect) : You know how much I love adventure, right, God?

God (with a patient look in Those benevolent eyes) : Yes, my child, I know. I am still trying to forget every high pitched "Oh Gaaaaaawd - saaaaave me!" each time you landed into one of those 'adventures'. It sure didn't look like you were enjoying yourself back then!

Me : Err.........Ofcourse I was enjoying it! That's how you're supposed to yell when you fall a few feet from a roller coaster! Any way, back to Melbourne. Did You know there's loads of adventure to do there? There's Sky diving.... and car racing .....

God :  I would have thought you'd done enough car racing on Delhi roads - I don't think I can handle more swear words than that!

Me (pretending to ignore the divine voice) : .... and even battle tank riding!! Can you beat that?

God : My child, surely, with all the lovely food I put on your table, even your walk to the car must seem like battle tank riding to you.... (I told you God was my mentor!)

Me : Not fair - I am on a diet, you know! Anyway, speaking of which - there are awesome celebrity chef restaurants in Melbourne - the kinds that serves Masterchef Australia kinda food! And all kinds of international cuisine too (I've always wondered how Vietnamese food tastes, or Spanish for that matter!!) - not to mention pubs!

God : (suppressing a laugh) Yes, child. I have seen you drooling all over the carpet watching Masterchef Australia, and I am aware of the nocturnal effect pubs have on you!

Me : Err..... no, God - I didn't exactly mean I'd spend all my time eating and drinking. And its such a safe place for nightlife too - You of all, know how important that is for a woman these days! Wait - there's so much more!!  Can you imagine floating past the beautiful Melbourne city in a hot air balloon? Hundreds of feet above..... sigh!! And a glass of Australian wine, and a guy proposing to you with a solitaire ring...... sigh!!!

God : Ahem! This is still about Melbourne, is it not? If this is another request for the right guy, let me tell you this conversation is over.

Me: Err..... ofcourse God -  Melbourne is sports crazed, right? And so am I!

God (with one divine Eyebrow raised quizzically) : Which sport, if I may ask, do you play? For I seem to only see you having a go at the X-box in your routine of tardiness!

Me : Whoa! Who said anything about playing?  I watch cricket, and football (or footy, as they would call it in Melbourne) and the stadiums are to die for!! Definitely beats having to watch a match on TV! Also, there are these awesome speed boats, on which I'd like to whizz past the Port Phillip Bay.

God : Hmmm....Port Phillip seems a nice place - actually the kind of place I would head to, if I didn't have to listen to people like you all the time!

Me (seeing a ray of hope) : Yes, absolutely God! It has over 1,950 square kilometres, and is quite comparable to Your abode. I mean, there's fishing, sailing, speed boats, kayaking and snorkeling. And for a change, all of it is clean, with a self-sustaining eco system.  You know how much I admire Your creativity, God. And there is so much beauty in all that marine life in Port Phillip ..... You really are a genius you know!! ...... err......So how about that competition? Am I winning it?

God : Not so fast, you sweet talker! What else are you planning to do there?

Me : I would also love to see the penguins at Phillip Island, which is just 2 hours away from Melbourne (I promise I won't smuggle any back home!).  Or even better..... maybe a moonlit walk through the bountiful natural beauty of a wildlife sanctuary You have so lovingly created in Melbourne.........

God (Smiling with such deep knowledge): So you really thought I'm going to push a few buttons and make you win this competition? You really thought it's your time to visit Melbourne NOW, didn't you?

Well, tough luck, my child........ You see, I am due for a vacation, and I'll let you know all about it when I'm back from Melbourne......... we'll have a little chat - Woman to woman! Be good till then!

73 comments:

  1. Superb post, Nirvana. And written in such a creative manner.

    BTW, when does God get back from vacation? I need to have a talk with Her too :-)

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    1. Honour having you come by, Sudhagee..... and appreciate all the kind words. Am sure God will be in a better mood when back from vacation ;-)

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  2. To say I snorted with laughter in some places would be travesty - very interesting way to approach a contest.

    Good luck, hope to see you write a travelogue of Melbourne sometime soon.

    Cheers :)

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    1. AS .... thank you, and as always, your comments are the ones that bring a smug smile to my face. Thanks for the wishes - if I ever write a travelogue, it'll definitely be dedicated to you!!

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  3. Loved this post!!! :) A very innovative one especially the gender of God.. :p

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    1. Thanks Sonia.... and welcome to the blog. The gender - bender was an idea I'd read somewhere and it stuck ;-) !

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  4. No wonder , I know now god has been on vacation , i was wondering why my wishes were not being fulfilled :) lovely post and all the best ..

    Bikram's

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    1. hehehe!!! Like I said to Sudhagee, when God's back, (S)he'll be in a good mood - so ask away! Thanks for the praise, Bikram.

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  5. I need God too! If She is too busy, I can make do with a vacation till she returns.
    Lovely Blog !

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    1. haha!! Thats a good one, Shilpa.... welcome to the blog - glad you liked it!

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  6. Great post Nirvana! You are quite a story teller I see :)Besties for the contest!

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    1. Oh yes, Misha .... I tell really tall tales :-) .... and thank you for the wishes!

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  7. hahaha..this was soo imaginatively creative..ekdumm masstt..and thankyou for all the links..has given me a lot to love about melbourne..
    all the best for the contest...
    cheers !! :)

    PS- i loved the last line.
    WOMAN to WOMAN..i have always cribbed at many of my MOMENTS..that GOD is a SHE..pffft

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    1. Meoww.......... so glad to have you come by... and am happy that you found the links useful... the pictures are just awesome, right? And thanks for the wishes!

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  8. Super. Loved the creativity of the post.

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    1. GBTP ... thank you for coming by....

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  9. Smarrrrt i like it..:):)
    Very creative..:)

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    1. hi Ankitha.... thanks for coming by... and so glad you liked it!

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  10. He he he..good one lovey!!!
    I sure hope "Dear God" helps you win that well deserved vacation!!!

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    1. hahaha!! FINALLY! I get a visit from you!! Thanks Seema, but as you very well know, God is planning on a vacation Herself :-) !! Thank you so much for all the encouragement in everything I do!

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  11. that is so imaginative! had fun reading it :-) ...and like others I too have been wondering why's God taking so long to grant my wishes. I'd like to believe (s)he's on a vacation!! All the very best to you for the competition :)

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    1. Thanks Purva.... well yeah... most of us have a loooong list for Her/Him when back from Vacation, huh? Thanks for coming by and the wishes!

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  12. oofff!! God is so hard to please!! :P

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    1. Hehehe!! That is true... maybe the vacation will make it easier! :-) .... thanks

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  13. Now this was some creative writing :D..hardcore imagination and personal check with God! Loved it!

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    1. Thanks Red .... it does look like I was serving time in a mental asylum from some of my posts, doesn't it? :-)!

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  14. Wonderful one..(I should add "As always".) I hope and pray that you win that Well Deserved vacation.Ofcourse you will owe us a virtual tour of Melbourne through your looooooong and detailed post about your trip..Good Luck dear !!!

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    1. Hahaha!! Thank you so much Sumitha ... Appreciate all the encouragement for the crazy stuff I write!

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  15. OMG, this is too creative. You should totally win this, God's help or not!

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    1. heheh!! Thanks Sumitra... really appreciate the wishes!

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  16. Laughing so hard I am finding it difficult to hit the right keys!!!Fabulous, amazingly creative! Have a great vacation :))

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    1. Hi Rukhsana.... welcome to the blog. And thank you for the kind words!

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  17. Oh wow!!! this is pretty awesome!!!

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  18. wow, thats one creative post!! its funny, its really imaginative, i mean it basically gives you a virtual tour of everything one can do in melbourne!!
    best of luck, loved your writing style!!

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    1. Archana..... thanks for comig by. And thank you for the appreciation.

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  19. lovely blog and lovely post...your creativity and wit shines through.Thanks for visiting my little "gold nugget" and appreciating !

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    1. It truly was a 'nugget' .... thank you!

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  20. So God is eying the prize a as well, eh!? Tell Her, She's got competition!!
    All the best to all of us :)

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    1. You bet!! I mean some of those posts are like full fledged travel itineraries!! Thanks! Same to you!

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  22. This is such a fabulous and interesting read! Loved it! The way God started, 'you are pushing it too far' and proving Him(?) to be a Her (Woman) was too good! Well, did God win some contest to Melbourne? ;)
    (Typo was the reason I had to delete the last post ;)

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    1. I like it when people are particular about crossing their t's and dotting their i's! Mogambo khush hui... Well can you really deny that God's a Her? Look at all the lovely stuff thats been created ;-) .... thanks for the kind words!

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  23. Well, it should be very interesting !!
    That’s a great blog post topic! Thanks for sharing your this kind of story in that post and i have really enjoyed reading your post.

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    1. thank you isaacoomber - and really glad you liked it.

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  25. This was indeed a very creative way of penning all the tourist attractions in a dialogue,with links. I am sure your friend 'The Almighty God' will seal the deal with you!! :) All the best !!

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    1. hehehe!! thank you Deeptea.... appreciate that you came in to check out the blog!!

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  26. GREAT THOUGHT!! Can I have His/ Her Number? Please give me when he returns, as I don't like to enhance his roaming bill.
    Jokes apart, I suddenly remembered a line from Him ( Lord Krishna):
    Karmanye Vadhikaraste, Ma phaleshou kadacha na,
    Best Wishes. Love to see you in Melbourne though.

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    1. Hahaha!! yeah - completely agree - "Karm" is thonly thing in our hands - "Phal" is for Him/Her to decide! thank you for coming by!

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  27. Wonderfully crafter story.The embedded information is unique too. Good wishes.

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    1. Thank you so much for the appreciation, Amit!

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  28. Very creative.. LOL. That was very unique idea

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    1. Thank you Rayyan - welcome to the blog!

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  29. Excellent portrayal, and a unique dialogue with God. very beautifully penned.

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    1. Thank you MV .... appreciate you coming over to read this!

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  30. Refreshingly Creative,

    Hardly I come across people (read women) who have such a good sense of reality about themselves.

    write on Nirvana

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    1. heyy!!!! A borderline case of MCP here? Hehehe.... having said that, thank you so much for coming by, AND for the compliments!

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  31. Something fresh and innovative. Your post is an out of the box idea and its awesome.:)

    ALL THE BEST.

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    1. Thank you so much Arjun .. appreciate the kind words!

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  32. Good one! :) Had fun reading it! :) And somehow yes, everyone today thinks of Masterchef Australia, whenever there's even a little mention of Aus. (Me included). Oh and God being a She! Wooooo!!!Controversyee! :P

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    1. hahaha.... controversy? not really - debatable topic no? Thank you for coming by!

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  33. Very very innovative, Ma'am :D

    Not everyone can parry so beautifully with the Big Guy himself :D All the best for the contest! :D

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    1. Thank you Sushmit.... yup! the Big Guy/Girl and I do have these conversations once in a while :-)

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  34. Loved it and extracted the best humor...
    The conversation is very interestingly built up..
    God was on a vacation but she did remember to make you win...Cheers!
    :)

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    1. Yippppppeeeeeeeeee!!!! Manjulika- I hadn't known! You were the bearer of such lovely news! thank you! Yippppppeeeee ...... oh wow!

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  35. Super creative post, Nirvana! Feeling really fortunate to have gotten ahead of such a beauty! Congratulations! :):)

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    1. Honored, Arti .... and so glad to have you come over! Congrats once again!

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  36. d story shows ur research abt melbourne......u really need to visit n exprnce d crazy thngs u hv talked abt.......gud luck.....:)

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    1. thanks for coming by Nitansha .... and for the wishes too.

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  37. You won........................................fabulous! Hugs!

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    1. hehehe........yeah! can you believe it?? Thank you so much!

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