Friday, December 10, 2010

A Decade of living.....

Had a rocking party the other day, danced like the possessed, and found myself thinking.... whats changed? Not much.... the spirit remains the same, the technique remains the same... So, have I changed? If I have, do I resent it? And then I think - what else has changed? Thought I would finally face the truth, and bravely list them out.... So here goes....

10. Wardrobe : From colors and cuts that can only be called outrageous by the conservative, and unconventional by the less rigid, to a self imposed exile to prim and proper outfits; wherein I attempt to cover as many physical flaws as I can!
9. Larder : From maggi noodles and cup-a-noodle, wafers and coke to baby food, multi grain bread and sprouts (that means all the former stuff are today eaten out of the perimeter of home kitchen)

8. Telephone calls : From maximum number of calls to the significant other in my life a decade ago, today the name comes a far second. The first place is shared between the day care center of the kids, daughter's tutor, the school van driver, the home delivery place, the laundry guy and the domestic help (yeah .. she has a mobile - and a swanky new model too)

7. Celebrations : From partying all night and waking up to a bright new afternoon, to falling asleep in the middle of a late night movie and waking up tripping all over the furniture to throw the alarm clock into oblivion....

6. Emotions : From blushing at the drop of a hat to open eyed horror at the bubbly new young things in the neighborhood.

5. Nomenclature : From 'babe' to 'didi' to 'ma'am ' to 'bhabhi' ..... to the word I hear a million times a day.. "Mommyeeeeeeee......"

4. Worries : From which classes to bunk, or which outfits to wear..... to which vaccinations are due for the kid, and what terrible things the teacher might have to tell me during PTA. Ofcourse, this is closely followed by the EMIs and the Tax saving schemes ......

3. Dream job : From the snazzy, high profile job that has 15 working hours, followed by late night parties and a suitably fancy sounding designation, to a place where I can rush out the door any time of the day screaming, "Mayday, mayday..... pea shoved up nose of 3 year old.... will catch you guys tomorrow, or maybe day after....." and everyone nods empathetically....

2. Hobbies : My first resume says 'badminton, basketball, reading, music' ....... today my resume DOES NOT have a hobbies heading. But if it were acceptable, i'd write "Playing peek-a-boo, cleaning little toys with toothbrush and dettol, research on the best diaper brands, and devising ingenious methods to feed fussy toddlers"

And finally the numero uno......

1. Happiness : From jumps of joy at recieving presents and going out partying, to uncontrollable joy at watching my kids smile in their sleep, or learning to swim, or wiggling their little bottoms to the latest chartbusters......

What can change in a decade? Apparenty, quite a bit! Do I resent any of it? Well guess what? Not one bit! I know I speak for mothers all over the world.... We'd do it all over again!!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

My Creator and me

Dear God : How do I know you exist?

GOD : My child, you were surrounded by love from the moment that you were born. Who do you think put all the right people at the right times in your life....?

but God, what about the people who caused me pain and tears?
GOD : What about the lessons I tried to teach you through them? Would you have learnt from Amar Chitra Katha?

I understand God, but what about the times I have lost miserably, cried inconsolably and bled profusely in my life?
GOD : Dear child, how would you ever know the pleasure of winning, or the warmth of a hug or the comfort of sleep without these? And how do you think the sun comes out every morning, even if you thought the night would never end?

Hmmmm..... but God, why was I oh so lonely in some of the darkest moments of my life? Why were You not there with me?
GOD (smiling with the patience only He can have): Oh my dear child, how you have misunderstood My ways.... every dark moment in your life only brought you closer to Me. In the dark, you could not see, not understand your path. Yet you found the right path... do you really think you could have done that all ALONE?

I understand now, God. And sorry I forgot to thank You - for the sun coming out every single day, for the people who walk in and out of my life as if it were a rehearsed skit; for the relief that comes when I think of You watching over me.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Guilty as Charged!

There are times in my life when I just want to kick the daylights out of some acquaintances. And then there are times when I wish I could kick myself really hard! Today seems to be one of those days when I feel the latter.

Each one of us have emotions that bring out the worst in us. Anger for many, depression for some, even sarcasm or meanness for some! Guess what my achilles heel with respect to emotions is? Guilt! I can put my feet in my mouth and still leave enough room for another couple of feet when I feel guilty.

I stand charged of making a friend go through hell for me. And I have been blissfully unaware, a tad inconsiderate, wouldn't you think? Add insult to injury, and I discover this friend is actually apologetic that things did not turn out the way I wanted it to.

I had been careless, reckless and frankly, quite immature in managing things at my end. I call up this friend who does not know how to say 'No'... (ofcourse I choose my friends well !)... and tell her to wrap up for me. I knew I was asking for the moon, but I figured things would just fall into place!

Well, we all know what they say about assuming, right? Things went just the way they shouldn't have. And I was absolutely untouched by it all. Honestly, would have felt much better if I got a kick from everyone who went through the trouble to help me out with this one!

You know who you are - sorry friend, for putting you through this.... hope I get the chance to apologize in person!