Monday, October 15, 2012

All is Fair ..... and Lovely!

Apparently, these days, interviews are all about slathering copious amounts of 'Fair and lovely'...errr .... 'Fair and handsome'....err..... 'Dumb and confused' on one's face, accompanied by an exaggerated Tom Selleck cocky eyebrow. It really doesn't matter what crap you say in the interview, as long as you look like a 'fair' model. Thats what this ad would like us to believe anyway. So make way, IITs and IIMs - qualification was just an excuse. What we really want to see is if you turned up the 'fair-o-meter'.

"Just rub 1 ml of cream into eyes of the people you want to impress, and voila!" Pic. courtesy Google

Similarly, if you are a badminton player or a tennis player, you apparently will not win a game, if you aren't (wait for it.......) 'fair' !! Wonder if other racket sports have the same problem? Maybe then the Willaims sisters bribed their way into lead positions!

And how can you forget that unforgettable appendage called gasp! the underarms? Heavens will thunder and the earth crack open if you have dark underarms. Gone are the days when everyone from the carefree Auntyji to the ooh so sexy Bengali didi used to don sleeveless without a care in the world! Today we have to get those 'fairness deos' before we attempt the impossible - wave a hearty goodbye in a sleeveless top!

The height of sophistication seems to be having 'fair' 'intimate parts' too. Losing the lustre in a relationship? No problem. Nah! What you need is not a marriage counsellor, but get your intimate parts shining fair and lovely! (See? We are a progressive nation. Whoever said we were not modern?). Don't believe me? Watch this !!

We are now so bombarded with the fairness virus, that we do not bat an eyelid if a pehelwan uses a whitening cream, or if we have men rushing for shelter to protect their delicate skin from the sun's darkening rays. A new dimension to gender equality, folks! Just when we thought the 'fairer sex' was just a metaphor, we now have competition here too!

By the way, if you are a talented singer, or dancer, all is lost of you are not granted that magic cream which gives you the 'raison d'etre' ..... Fairness!  After all, can you see even one matrimonial ad that says 'dusky, awesome girl'? Chances are, you will not. And ofcourse, we all know that the final destination is righ there in these ads...... so why not start young, huh?

What tickles my funny bone is that when an appropriately called "FakingNews" newsletter declares that a new Fairness Cream for Newborns has been discovered, they received a rush of comments asking for further details. (dont forget to scroll down to read the comments for a huge dose of laughter)

Can you imagine the pain, the frustration of a parent with a beautiful but dusky complexioned baby? The poor kid will not be able to win a match, or display a talent, or hell, even get an 'affsar - wala' job, for heavens' sake! And lets not even get to the part where the poor family looks for a 'fair' spouse for the kid!!

The post itself is howlarious, with a reporter called 'Pagal Patrakaar' doing a superb job of calling a spade a tractor; but what really takes the cake is the comments section - do go through the pitiful frantic pleas of worried mothers (and fathers) waiting to lay their hands on this cream for newborns ....................

There are yet others who have given appropriate (if not deserving) replies to these parents. Some replies I wanted to stand up and give a standing ovation. :-)

Certainly makes one stop and think - is beauty really skin deep? I am afraid not.

20 comments:

  1. Haha..so true... We took our obsession with fairness to a whole new level when we had products in the market for whitening our intimate areas... Ridiculous

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    1. hehe.... but what is astounding is the lengths parents will go to, to get a 'fair' child!!! ... thanks

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  2. I will needa TRUCK load of that , for it to work :)

    God..

    Bikram's

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    1. But Bikram, the qustion is WHY on earth one would need it?

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  3. OMG at the comments section. My eyes grew wider and wider as I read the comments. What a nation!

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    1. hehehehe........... yeah Amit! The comments were the best part of it all! Especially when suggestions were given to a parent on how to ensure that they get a 'fair' child ...hehehe!!!

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  4. Agree with Amit... what comments. Does noone get the concept of FAKINGnews !! At any rate, I lost focus once they developed that 'FAIRNESS CREAM' for intimate parts... what are aiming for : a dalmatian woman ??

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    1. hahaha!!! Dalmation woman ..... if it wasn't you and if i hadn't known what a staunch feminist you are, i'd have taken offence!!!!! But yeah looks like thats where the so-called beauty industry is headed!

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  5. But I always thought love was blind!

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    1. More idiotic than blind, it would look now, huh? Thanks for coming by Kshipra.

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  6. Can't believe people actually said that... how obsessed can we be with fairness :)

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    1. Looks like we will do all it takes to get that fairness - bleach, acid, whatever! Thanks for coming by GBTP

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  7. HIlarious peice this one.

    Its funny how the world is obsessed with skin color. Indians want to be fair and westerners want to be brown; Its a vicious circle the way I see it.

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    1. oh but AS... did you see the link for the FakingNews? You will ROFL all day!! Especially the comments! Do visit the site.

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  8. It's just so frustrating to watch the number of fairness cream ads and the number of stars that endorse these products!!

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    1. Absolutely, Roshni!!! The whole madness went to a different level with the 'intimate' fairness!! sheesh!!

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