Monday, October 22, 2012

Oh! The Woes of Civilization

Hey! All you strange people out there!

Yes, yes ...... you guys! The ones who call yourselves 'liberal' and 'educated'. I have had enough of this nonsense of you guys going on and on about women's rights! What exactly are you propagating?

Are you telling me that we aren't modern enough for you firangis ? You and your chowmein and your mobile phone wielding women! Tch! Tch!

When a very learned friend said that chowmein caused all the rapes, you guys scoffed at him! This is nothing to scoff about - its pure science! Don't you realize that all those 'spagetti tops' these women wear reminds our poor boys of the chowmein and they want to just tear off those tops and eat them? And you call yourself educated!

And what is this hue and cry about about mobiles for women? Have you actually seen girls talking on mobile phones? They look so happy! Now you tell me  - don't we all know that womenfolk aren't supposed to be happy! It is in our culture that women should not be happy....

Have you ever seen a happy Sita Maiyya? Can you imagine her laugh with gay abandon into her mobile phone complaining that Lord Ram was taking too long to rescue her?  Do you think Ravana would have left her in peace if she kept laughing and joking into her mobile phone? And then you blame our poor boys!

Or imagine if Radhaji had a mobile phone, and kept disturbing Bhagwan Krishna while he was killing all those Rakshasas!! They were the true women - beautiful, sad and pining! No happiness for the real women. No sir! They are the real Indian women. And you should be thanking us for all that we are doing to take this country to Ram Rajya.

Let me ask you something - why do you think there is so much poverty in this land?

Hmmmph!! It has nothing to do with corruption - it is pure statistics, I tell you! We are poor because of this damn thing called equality!

Earlier, we only had to cook enough food for the men. After the men ate, the women (and the girls too) would just scrape off whatever was left and feed themselves - like real women should! And now we have to buy groceries for the women in the house too - it is truly Kalyug!

In the good old days, the boys would go to study or go outside to play, and the girls would be cooking and washing for them at home. If they did not wash or cook well, we could beat them up. And then see how the productivity of the whole country would have gone up!!

 But NO....... you and your fancy foreign concepts of resepect and equality for these women *gasp!*  only brought the whole country to the dogs. And now we are talking about stopping moksha for these cursed souls by not killing them in their wombs! How much more are you going to waste the nation's money on women? Where has all you patriotism gone now?

All you people want is to malign the poor Godfearing menfolk of this land.
Don't we fast for Durga Ma for 9 days?
Don't we sing 'Jai Ambe Gauri......' very loudly during the pujas?
Don't we wash young girls feet during the kanya puja?
What more do you expect out of us? Treat our daughters like we treat our sons (shudder!!!!)........ And let them be happy?

You must all be out of your minds!

18 comments:

  1. Well, someone's going full throttle on the Sarcasm train - brilliant peice. Had a ball reading it.

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    1. Well AS.... Unfortunately this is only a phase..... If only it wasn't ....... :-(

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    1. :-)... thank you GBTP.... its getting to be too much now, isn't it?

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  3. Believe me Meena, there are going to be at least a few males out there who wouldn't catch up on the sarcasm and I guess that's the irony of life.

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    1. I know!!! Thats so true - many would just think this is the right way to go!

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  4. Exactly! I have been telling everyone exactly the same thing! Why do we take our Khap leaders to be brainless baffoons? They have years of experience in subjugating women. Surely they know how to efficiently run this country.
    And look at China. The reason they are reproducing like Algae is because of Chowmein. It is as simple as that.

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    1. hehehe!!! But even China has stopped reproducing like 'algae'.... we are the toppers now! Thanks for agreeing with me, Amit ! :-)

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  5. You have used sarcasm very well..! You deserve a Chinese dinner..!
    A serious subject was handled very well :)

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    1. Thanks Ghazala... incidentally, Chinese is one of my favorites; or was - till this chowmein episode!!

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  6. oops you seem to be angry .. whats the matter

    I am not a firangi .. I and 100% desi :)
    so I can safely take the Chinece menu off incase you ever plan to visit me here he he he he

    Bikram's

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    1. Hehehe.......yes I am angry, but not at you ..... at those imbeciles who think they are Gods gift to mankind!

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  7. Nirvana, its a serious matter, but I laughed! Awesome post. Co incidently I had Chinese food for dinner- but no Chowmein D

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    1. You know poonam, I seem to have developed an aversion to chowmein too!! :-)... Thank you for coming by.

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  8. Haha, chowmein and spaghetti straps, there's the logical link that I was searching for all this time :D

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    1. See? Our leaders are indeed foresighted and highly intelligent - they could make a connection when normal people couldn't ;-) !!

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