The twleve-year snapshots

 "Happy Anniversary," G called out shyly from the bathroom. (Yes, we still call ours a bathroom, in spite of repeated reminders from the kiddo who goes to class 4 that its a 'washroom'). I sometimes wonder how G could be shy one minute and cocky the other - one of the attributes that I married him for, I suddenly realize.

"You remember?".  I am genuinely shocked at being taken by surprise yet again, by the guy I thought I knew like the back of my hand.

"Um-hmm..... Ofcourse I remember. Just because a few times I forgot random dates doesn't mean I'll do it always." That was the cocky G.

Its a working day today, and we were getting ready for a normal day ahead.

We suddenly discovered that we had nothing to say - none of the romantic banter that one associates with Wedding Anniversaries - especially since the kids had been packed off to school. We had our morning tea together. Just the two of us, the sound of the morning birds chirping and the occasional 'slurp' of the tea.

After tea, a quick squeeze of my hand, and a quick "See you in the evening" was enough to bring a smile to my lips and tune in my head for the rest of the day. While driving to work, my mind takes a historical tour of the 12 years that I've been the 'missus'  G.

I remembered the hushed conversation over the STD phone call (for the gen next kids, an STD is something that we needed on landlines to be able to call long distance. No, mobiles were not attached to our ears back then) G and I had, way past midnight a few days before our wedding. It had to be past midnight, because that was the only time we had privacy (since land line phones were almost always in the living room). And the conversation went thus:

G : "I've got all the travel arrangements done. After the wedding here in Delhi, we need to spend two days here, and then we all travel back to Kerala for the reception there." (this complex situation arose because I belong to a clan of uber conservative folks in Kerala, and he, from Delhi)

Me : "Ok. I hope it doesn't cost a bomb...... Aunty and Uncle (now Mom and Papa) are ok with the long travel, I hope."

G : "Don't worry. They can't wait to see your place. And I've booked the best tickets. (I could almost see his chest puffing up in pride). And its okay if we spend a little on this travel - and I booked the three tickets much in advance..... don't worry"

Me (suddenly fully awake) : "Err..... How many tickets did you say?"

G : "Three - one for Papa, one for Mom, and one for me."

Me : "Ummmm............. ok. And I presume you will be sitting next to my photograph in the reception. Or were you thinking of polygamy?"

G: "Oh shit! Gotto go. Will call you tomorrow. Bye."

Me : ROFL

After we were married, we had various official formalities to get done - especially since both of us worked with the same organization. All our trips to our common office spots - the head office, the unit in which we worked, the office parties, - we were an awkward couple.

We couldn't hold hands without looking sheepish. When we crossed paths in the office, we would do our best to look all professional, and would have succeeded too, had it not been for snickering friends in the background. We still ensured we had our lunches together, much later than the lunch rush hour. Thus ensured we got a few precious moments of 'couple' time.

I love to dance, and he would accompany me just for company. Given a choice, he would rather sit nursing a drink, chatting with a select few friends. In parties of common friends, when we were shoved into the dance floor, G never knew what to do with his hands during the slow dances. He managed the superb feat of keeping me away from anyone who came slightly close, without making any obvious moves.

G was not a big fan of my working odd hours. We were both hoteliers, and he knew the physical and mental exertion it took to be one. I loved my job, and so did he. While there were mumbling protests from him when we started leaving sticky notes on the fridge to communicate with each other, he never took it beyond the ultra-sound mumbles. So when I started feeling the pinch of exertion during advanced pregnancy, we had a hilarious conversation

Me : "Why don't you ask me how I feel these days?"

G : "How are you feeling?"

Me : "I feel like murdering someone. Who does X think he is ? Typical MCP. He's your friend no? And what does he know about par stocks? And I can do a better job than him while I am in the labor room. All men are the same - condescending MCPs. Try being pregnant - and you'll know. Sometimes I want to throw this whole damn job and sit at home."

G : "Er...... Ummmm.............."

Me : "Seriously, sometimes I think its not worth it. There! I am not ashamed to admit it! I am tired. I want a break."

G : "Er...... Ummmm.........Err........"

Me : "When are you going to graduate from Errr..... Ummmm? I knew it! You don't care about what I'm going through. Earlier you used to ask me how I felt..... now you just don't care! You were the one who wanted a baby - you should be the one suffering morning sickness and bloated ankles...." (With as dignified a walk-out as a football with legs could muster)

G : (five minutes later, with a cup of tea) "Chai piyogi?" (Will you have tea?) "I think you should take a break. You are working too hard. And you can always think of teaching maybe, if you are bored later."

Me : "There you go again! How typical. Teaching! What the hell do you think I will do in a roomful of kids? You think that's a safe job don't you? Gimme that tea."

G : "Or you could have the baby in the hotel laundry room. We can call the house doctor when you have your contractions. I don't think it should be a problem"

Me : "@#$%!!!"

G: "You know you are tired, and you know you want to take a break. Why is this so difficult? We are going to have a baby, and we are all stressed about it. (I gave him a dirty look here) .....You more than me, but the truth is that you do need to take things easy now. Look - lets do something. You take a break, do what you've always wanted to do, read a few books, heck - even write something if you feel like it. And whenever you think you are ready to get back, we'll do the hunting together."

With a hint of a smile when he knew he'd almost won the argument

G: "And with your credentials, you'll not be hunting, you'll be hunted!"

Me : "Oh shut up!" (but mighty pleased with the turn of events, and with the superb ginger tea he's made for me)

A major phase in my life had ended with that day. I never went back to hotel operations, but this decision opened up another phase in my life. And the whole credit goes to a man with huge watery eyes, a purposeful stride (even if he's just walking away a cramp) and a cocky sense of humour who walked into my life and turned it upside down.

With the birth of junior G, I had discovered emotions in my husband of three years, that I had never seen before. He sat up the whole night in the hospital, barely blinking, barely breathing, holding little G. No amount of coaxing would make him put her in her crib till he finally believed that she was real, that she was his, and that he would be spending the rest of his life worrying about her.

We have had terrible fights too. From earth jarring door slamming to ear shattering silence, we've done it all. From cynical remarks about each others quirks, to silent jealous pangs, we've had our worst moments too.

But when I take a moment out of the mundane, to think of the man I am married to, all I can remember are the one liners that made me laugh myself to tears or the silent gestures that give me the strength to take on anything in the world.

 

Happy twelfth anniversary, G.

P.S. A request from a blogger friend was for the complete foto :-)

:-)