Thursday, October 25, 2012

The twleve-year snapshots

 "Happy Anniversary," G called out shyly from the bathroom. (Yes, we still call ours a bathroom, in spite of repeated reminders from the kiddo who goes to class 4 that its a 'washroom'). I sometimes wonder how G could be shy one minute and cocky the other - one of the attributes that I married him for, I suddenly realize.

"You remember?".  I am genuinely shocked at being taken by surprise yet again, by the guy I thought I knew like the back of my hand.

"Um-hmm..... Ofcourse I remember. Just because a few times I forgot random dates doesn't mean I'll do it always." That was the cocky G.

Its a working day today, and we were getting ready for a normal day ahead.

We suddenly discovered that we had nothing to say - none of the romantic banter that one associates with Wedding Anniversaries - especially since the kids had been packed off to school. We had our morning tea together. Just the two of us, the sound of the morning birds chirping and the occasional 'slurp' of the tea.

After tea, a quick squeeze of my hand, and a quick "See you in the evening" was enough to bring a smile to my lips and tune in my head for the rest of the day. While driving to work, my mind takes a historical tour of the 12 years that I've been the 'missus'  G.

I remembered the hushed conversation over the STD phone call (for the gen next kids, an STD is something that we needed on landlines to be able to call long distance. No, mobiles were not attached to our ears back then) G and I had, way past midnight a few days before our wedding. It had to be past midnight, because that was the only time we had privacy (since land line phones were almost always in the living room). And the conversation went thus:

G : "I've got all the travel arrangements done. After the wedding here in Delhi, we need to spend two days here, and then we all travel back to Kerala for the reception there." (this complex situation arose because I belong to a clan of uber conservative folks in Kerala, and he, from Delhi)

Me : "Ok. I hope it doesn't cost a bomb...... Aunty and Uncle (now Mom and Papa) are ok with the long travel, I hope."

G : "Don't worry. They can't wait to see your place. And I've booked the best tickets. (I could almost see his chest puffing up in pride). And its okay if we spend a little on this travel - and I booked the three tickets much in advance..... don't worry"

Me (suddenly fully awake) : "Err..... How many tickets did you say?"

G : "Three - one for Papa, one for Mom, and one for me."

Me : "Ummmm............. ok. And I presume you will be sitting next to my photograph in the reception. Or were you thinking of polygamy?"

G: "Oh shit! Gotto go. Will call you tomorrow. Bye."

Me : ROFL

After we were married, we had various official formalities to get done - especially since both of us worked with the same organization. All our trips to our common office spots - the head office, the unit in which we worked, the office parties, - we were an awkward couple.

We couldn't hold hands without looking sheepish. When we crossed paths in the office, we would do our best to look all professional, and would have succeeded too, had it not been for snickering friends in the background. We still ensured we had our lunches together, much later than the lunch rush hour. Thus ensured we got a few precious moments of 'couple' time.

I love to dance, and he would accompany me just for company. Given a choice, he would rather sit nursing a drink, chatting with a select few friends. In parties of common friends, when we were shoved into the dance floor, G never knew what to do with his hands during the slow dances. He managed the superb feat of keeping me away from anyone who came slightly close, without making any obvious moves.

G was not a big fan of my working odd hours. We were both hoteliers, and he knew the physical and mental exertion it took to be one. I loved my job, and so did he. While there were mumbling protests from him when we started leaving sticky notes on the fridge to communicate with each other, he never took it beyond the ultra-sound mumbles. So when I started feeling the pinch of exertion during advanced pregnancy, we had a hilarious conversation

Me : "Why don't you ask me how I feel these days?"

G : "How are you feeling?"

Me : "I feel like murdering someone. Who does X think he is ? Typical MCP. He's your friend no? And what does he know about par stocks? And I can do a better job than him while I am in the labor room. All men are the same - condescending MCPs. Try being pregnant - and you'll know. Sometimes I want to throw this whole damn job and sit at home."

G : "Er...... Ummmm.............."

Me : "Seriously, sometimes I think its not worth it. There! I am not ashamed to admit it! I am tired. I want a break."

G : "Er...... Ummmm.........Err........"

Me : "When are you going to graduate from Errr..... Ummmm? I knew it! You don't care about what I'm going through. Earlier you used to ask me how I felt..... now you just don't care! You were the one who wanted a baby - you should be the one suffering morning sickness and bloated ankles...." (With as dignified a walk-out as a football with legs could muster)

G : (five minutes later, with a cup of tea) "Chai piyogi?" (Will you have tea?) "I think you should take a break. You are working too hard. And you can always think of teaching maybe, if you are bored later."

Me : "There you go again! How typical. Teaching! What the hell do you think I will do in a roomful of kids? You think that's a safe job don't you? Gimme that tea."

G : "Or you could have the baby in the hotel laundry room. We can call the house doctor when you have your contractions. I don't think it should be a problem"

Me : "@#$%!!!"

G: "You know you are tired, and you know you want to take a break. Why is this so difficult? We are going to have a baby, and we are all stressed about it. (I gave him a dirty look here) .....You more than me, but the truth is that you do need to take things easy now. Look - lets do something. You take a break, do what you've always wanted to do, read a few books, heck - even write something if you feel like it. And whenever you think you are ready to get back, we'll do the hunting together."

With a hint of a smile when he knew he'd almost won the argument

G: "And with your credentials, you'll not be hunting, you'll be hunted!"

Me : "Oh shut up!" (but mighty pleased with the turn of events, and with the superb ginger tea he's made for me)

A major phase in my life had ended with that day. I never went back to hotel operations, but this decision opened up another phase in my life. And the whole credit goes to a man with huge watery eyes, a purposeful stride (even if he's just walking away a cramp) and a cocky sense of humour who walked into my life and turned it upside down.

With the birth of junior G, I had discovered emotions in my husband of three years, that I had never seen before. He sat up the whole night in the hospital, barely blinking, barely breathing, holding little G. No amount of coaxing would make him put her in her crib till he finally believed that she was real, that she was his, and that he would be spending the rest of his life worrying about her.

We have had terrible fights too. From earth jarring door slamming to ear shattering silence, we've done it all. From cynical remarks about each others quirks, to silent jealous pangs, we've had our worst moments too.

But when I take a moment out of the mundane, to think of the man I am married to, all I can remember are the one liners that made me laugh myself to tears or the silent gestures that give me the strength to take on anything in the world.

 
Happy twelfth anniversary, G.

P.S. A request from a blogger friend was for the complete foto :-)
:-)


 

68 comments:

  1. WOW! Romantic, nostalgic, you've captured it all. Happy Anniversary!!

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  2. Awesome..as always Meena!! Congratulations to you and G.

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  3. Replies
    1. Thank you Vinay! And happy Diwali to you too!

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  4. wow! Congrats to you and Mr. G.

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    1. Thank you for coming by, Janu.... and thanks for the wishes!

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  5. This reminds me about the moments in marriage and how woman goes through stress related to hormone in her pregnancy days .And finally when the day arrives, no amount of pain is countable to what we see in our eyes..the best gift bestowed upon us - a baby of our own :)

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    1. Thank you so much for coming by, Uma. And yes, the little thing in one's arms makes one forget all that one went through!

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  6. Awww! So romantic! There is more romance in everyday life with each other than most dates :)

    Loved the post. Many Happy Returns of the Day! And Enjoy Mr and Mrs.G

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    1. hehehe... 'Romantic' is the last thing I would call myself - but yes, there are so many emotions in everyday life. Thank you so much!

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  7. Awwww!! Happy anniversary and wish you and G the best years ahead!

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    1. So good to see you here, Sumitra. I do miss your posts, you know.... but its for a good cause, so I forgive you :-) .... thanks for taking time out to read my posts!

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  8. This is so soooo beautiful..!! Touche!

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    1. Thank you Punam .... glad you liked it :-)

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  9. Happy Anniversary to you and Mr Husband - may there be many more pleasant events and stories for you to recount down the years.

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  10. Awww!!!Meena...this is mushy!!ha!ha

    u'll loose your reputation if u write like this... mush and not satire.

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    1. hahaha... Sonal, you know me... the mush is temporary; the satire is in my blood - don't worry pretty soon the satire will be back. But am still waiting for your blog revival!

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  11. THis is A>B>S>O>L>U>T>E>L>Y splendid!!.. Oh How I want my life to pan out just like this..
    Happy Anniversary to you both..:)
    Splendid post and following ur posts for life..:)

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    1. Harisankar .... that probably the sweetest comment in my blog :-) .... but do be careful what you wish for - it just might come true. And believe me, we are in no way a bar to match up to... if you knew all the crazy stuff that happens at home, you'd definitely think twice. Welcome to Lafemme...

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    2. Hahhaa... Wats life without some fitenites.. We fight like crazy too.. since the last 5 years and God knows if it will blow out into a WW after marriage.. Brilliant blog LaFemme.. And BTW one question shud I call you LaFemme? or Nirvana?.. Sounds a bit corny allae?..Pinnee Njan Malayaliyaa..:D

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    3. A-ha!! that explains the wit, the cynicsm and the tongue -in-cheek stuff you write :-)... 'Nirvana' is what I will be known as when I am obnoxiously rich and famous and have people swooning all over my bestsellers; as of now Meena will be fine ;-)

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  12. So very sweet!!!! Just love all your conversations with him!

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    1. Thank you so much Roshni.... these conversations are what keep life interesting! :-)

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  13. That was such a wonderful sweet post. A very happy anniversary to both of you and may you celebrate many more splendid years together. :)Btw, all are guys like that? unexpressive?

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    1. Hahaha!! FiF, I think almost all the married one are - I seem to have heard so many of my women friends complain that there is just no romance in their men!!! But I guess its wrong to think everyone is an SRK - infact, who can really TOLERATE a constant dose of SRK?

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    2. Lol...true, too much SRK is not good either...I would cry, pls gimme a break and my own space, you fool....:D

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    3. hahaha ........ absolutely!!!!

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  14. Happy Anniversary :D
    Am still laughing at your impression and the comments above on women's impression of married men :D
    Aiyaiyaiyah yai ! Still its nice to see the magic's still der even after all these years.

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    1. Hahaaha!!! Believe me Roshan, the ups and downs are much more memorable when they are dealt with a dash of humour - you of all people shouldn't find it difficult to do!! Thanks for the wishes!

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  15. How romantic even if it has the cocky moments :D Happy anniversary.

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    1. hehehe!!! We make do with the cocky romance these days, GBTP.... that makes life easier!

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  16. That's sweet!
    So what about a COMPLETE pic of you both? Why just the hands?
    (just wanted to see you.. hehehe)

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    1. vinitha.... that was such a sweet comment, I just had to oblige :-) .... Done!! The foto has been put up

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    2. Thanks Vinitha for asking exactly the same question that I wanted to put up..:D

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    3. Yippppeeeeeeee !!!!
      Loved the fact that you put it up, on me just asking for it... and the pic itself!
      You make a lovely bride! Wishing you all of life's happiness with G. Here's to many more - Cheers! Hic!

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    4. Hic! Hic ! Indeed........ Thanks for the warm wishes

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  17. Beautiful lovely post. :)
    It is so great to see two people in love and cherishing their life together.
    Happy Anniversary and God bless.

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    1. Oh let me clarify that 'love' bit - we keep falling in and out of love, let me assure you. But the good thing is that no one else could have tolerated either one of us, so we stay put :-) .... thank you so much for your wishes!

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  18. Congratulations to you and G! I dig for such stories that began in the STD age (including mine!).. They seem so sweet and yours is no exception. Wish you many more years of happiness.

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    1. there is an element of romance in waiting for rhetorically phone to ring right? thank you so much.

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  19. Thats a cute funny and "aaawwhh" article, all in one! Happy 12th anniversary and wish you many many more happy ones

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    1. Thank you so much Varsha ...... long time!! hope u are doing fine.

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  20. It's sweet how you remember every detail.
    Beautiful Couple!

    +To Me It Matters+

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    1. Aprad... thank you so much for the kind words. Memories come in spurts when there are some triggers .... welcome to the blog.

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  21. Three tickets FTW! :)

    Happy anniversary :D

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    1. Sushmit ........ yeah... can u believe it?.... Thanks for coming by ....

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    2. Oh, I've come earlier too; you're a magnificent writer, now ploughing through all your posts :)

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    3. I just went through the three part magnum opus, "The Earrings", and honestly, I thought Roshan ka bht bada katta hone wala hai :P but *faith in humanity restored* :)

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    4. hehehe!! 'MAgnup Opus' - yeah.... it was a looong post! And many like Roshan out there, lemme tell you.... :-)

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  22. Hei? Where did my comment go??

    And we finally get to see you!! Yay!! :)

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    1. Spiff...... yippeee...... you're back!!! Now don't disappear again.... thanks

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  23. Hi Meena,

    Oct 25th??? thats mine too... Just finished the 10th this time...!!!!!and whatever you said there sounds good/ serves for me too,

    esp "We have had terrible fights too. From earth jarring door slamming to ear shattering silence, we've done it all. From cynical remarks about each others quirks, to silent jealous pangs, we've had our worst moments too.

    But when I take a moment out of the mundane, to think of the man I am married to, all I can remember are the one liners that made me laugh myself to tears or the silent gestures that give me the strength to take on anything in the world."
    Felt the same embarrassment while wishing and being wished too by him,actually that felt queer...!!!

    HAPPY ANNIVERSARY Meena... heres wishing you many more of the same...!!!!


    B.Rgds
    Vidya

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Vidya! And we share a common wedding date - wow!! Happy 10th to you too!

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  24. A very happy anniversary .. and wishing you many many moree.. but partyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy kab hai :) he he he he

    Bikram's

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    1. Thank you so much Bikram - party whenever you hit Delhi :-) ...

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  25. Anniversary is the time to reflect on the journey that got us to this point. Of shared laughter and tears. The memories that become even more precious with each passing year.

    A happy anniversary to you and your husband :-)

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    1. Absolutely - every little memory surfaces now and then, and things that seemed really stressful back then are truly laugh-worthy now! Thank you for your wishes, and thank you for coming by!

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  26. Happy Anniversary...

    It was lovely post filled with sweet anecdotes.It's pure joy to be with someone who has done PHd in"Hmm,Umm,Err" when one is bursting out in fury ,who then pacifies us with love,food and gentle advice.

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    1. Hahaha!!! PHD in 'hmm, umm, err' - epic! Thank you so much!

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  27. i had commented before...pfffft :/
    stupeeed internet..
    awwwwwwwww..this is so adorable!!!
    happy anniversary to you and G..!!
    wish you a lifetime of happiness and crazyness and louuuu !!
    *touchwood*
    god bless!!

    Cheers :):):)

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    1. and yes..you look every inch the radiant bride in that pic..!!
      BEAUTIFUL :):):)

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    2. Awwww...... meoww.... thank you so much for all those wishes. And let me tell you, for the wedding, I had a magician for a beautician :-)

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