Thursday, February 14, 2013

Oh for the Love of Love!!

You can hate it, you can love it, you can scoff about it, or you can be wistful about it. But there's no way you can ignore this mush-in-your-face-festivities called Valentine's day!!

Who cares that it actually is in memory of a martyr? Just like Mother's Day (another festival where the person who championed the cause , actually spent her entire fortune fighting the commercialized version of her dream), Valentine's Day owes its popular existence entirely to the geniuses in the marketing department of card companies.

However, like I said, one really cannot ignore V-day, can we? Whether its the lovestruck couples around you, or the trying-to-get-lucky-in-love variety, or the I-hate-this-day-coz-I'm-so-lonely people you encounter, each one only reminds you that today my dear, is Valentine's Day.

My love-hate relationship with V day began the year I started college. (Yes, yes, laugh all you want. When we were school going kids in a little town tucked away in the hills of Kerala, we had no clue 14th Feb was any different from other days!) 

The shock came by way of being suddenly confronted with different kinds of hopefuls - some were shy and endearing, some haughty and confident, some funny and clueless. (The funny and clueless variety were my favorite!). But as freshers in college, V day was far from pleasant - you had no idea who would spring forth from the corner of the cafeteria to thrust a rose and a chocolate bar at you!

However, at the height of pheromone-driven love, V day syndrome reached a different level - this day was yet another excuse to suffocate the person you love with an overdose of gifts and romantic words stuffed into a card. (Honestly, does anyone remember the Hallmark cards with pages and pages of poetry written on them?). But truth be said, one did not, even for a moment, allow common sense to over rule the heart. Thus, all the ridiculously priced roses, all the unbelievably juvenile gifts did seem to make complete sense to the hormone crazed hearts, didn't they?

The first few years of commitment in love, or what they call 'marriage' brought about a certain saneness in the way we celebrated V-day. I mean you see the guy every day! So of course you are not gushing your heart out in a clandestine meeting over ridiculous candlelight and a teddy bear that cheekily says 'I love you.' But a peer-pressure induced romantic evening was certainly a welcome change from the daily monotony of work-home balance.

As the years go by, and the relationship has moved on from 'I-wonder-if-he-still-loves-me-as-much' phase, love, and everything that symbolizes it, takes on a new meaning. Let me try to decipher what 'love' means to me on this V-day
  • When he starts a conversation with, 'I don't know if you will like this........' I know I am going to love the new book, or the new scarf he has picked up for me. (No, there has never been uber-expensive surprises. We prefer long discussions and opinions and choices when we want to spend like there's no tomorrow!)
  • When he walks out of the room to have a long conversations on the phone, I don't have the urge to overhear his conversation
  • When I cook something special, he urges the kids to yell "Very yummy Mom!" - which the kids comply willingly
  • When I have a ridiculous incident (read that as falling flat on my face while walking on perfectly aligned plane surfaces) he tries very hard to hide his laugh.
  • When I have a flat tire, even though I know there's no way he's going to be able to help, I still call him. And he, after appropriate sympathetic tut-tuts, tells me the obvious - to call the helpline.
  • When I have to take an early morning flight, and I tiptoe around the house getting ready, he will wake up, switch on the living room lights, plop himself on the sofa, and sleep with his eyes open till I leave.
  • When we fight over who switches off the light at night, he teams up with both the kids to blackmail me - "Mommmmmeeeeee ....... please switch of the light. We loooooooove you!"
  • I reach out and hold his hand in the movie theatre. Sometimes the kids are in between, but we negotiate with them to change seats ;-)
  • I like Chinese and Continental food, and he considers only Indian cuisine to be 'food'. So we usually go to multi-cuisine restaurants.
  • He smiles indulgently at the daughter when she explains how the silly guy in school does not know chlorophyll helps in photosynthesis. And then he points at me and says 'Did you know Mum was Head Girl in school?'
  • His chest visibly swells in pride when kiddo 1 tells kiddo 2 that "Papa's biryani is better than even Mom's!". Truth be told - he does make a mean biryani (an Indian Rice dish)
Maybe this is what its all about -  all the evenings we've crashed out on the couch with the TV blaring well into the night, all the days we have stood in the balcony watching the rain, all the silly games we've played with the kids on the living room carpet, the companionship in this weird unprepared journey called life that we've ventured into.

Maybe there is a method to the madness called love.

Apt quote huh? Credit Birthdayquotes
Happy Valentines Day y'all!! :-)

19 comments:

  1. It's a pleasure reading what you write. It brings a smile to the face and more than an often small bouts of giggles. Here I was feeling lousy that I have to spend this day alone, and reading this comforted me by leaps and bounds :)

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    1. Awww.... considering you're still in the honeymoon phase, I do understand how you feel :-)But don't worry Chitra, life is one long celebration with bits and pieces of lull in between!!!

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  2. I have read a few of your blog posts, but I don't think I have enjoyed any other like post.

    You know I was kind of feeling out of place today considering that myself and the TH has never really cared abt this day and have never celebrated it( today is our second V day and it was a kind of love marriage ;)).

    When I saw people cooking special dishes, making special crafts etc, I did feel a bit weird..And all that went away when I read this post :P

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    1. I know, Elizabeth; its so strange how everyone goes overboard with the mush on this one day! And love has nothing to so with celebrating V-Day, does it? :-)

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  3. lol..nice bubbly description!!!!
    "I like Chinese and Continental food, and he considers only Indian cuisine to be 'food'. So we usually go to multi-cuisine restaurants."
    AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

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  4. Well in college it was different but as you aptly put it, love changes its definition and probably actually becomes love after few years when you are ok with the snoring and don't mind him watching tv and you reading book but sitting together...

    Lovely post Meena :)

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    1. Absolutly true, Jas.... there are times when we wonder what we have in common - thats how different we are!!

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  5. That was a lovely post and I completely agree with you. A lot of things stop mattering after a while. It is the life after the honeymoon period that defines this relationship.

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  6. Love love love this post. I really needed to read this. I had started writing something along these lines a few days back, but left it halfway (like all the other posts I've been ditching). Now I'm inspired to complete it. :)

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    1. Hey Spiffy!! Been missing you dear! Thank you so much for writing in. And do complete that post dudette! We are all waiting for some details ;-)

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  7. Such a sweet post! There is no better feeling than being in a comfortable relationship :)

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    1. Thank you Nisha - yes, I think 'comfortable' is the operative word here.

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  8. Lovely post and very apt for the V Day! God bless both of you and keep you away from jealous eyes. Though I am quite sure, they can't harm an inch of the space that you both have created for yourself.

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    1. Awww... that is so sweet Shilpa!! Thank you!

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  9. It was a comforting read... Wonderful relationships exist and they are nurtured well by people into it... V days come and go, but the 'love between the two' must stay forever..

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