Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Silver Lining

My kids came running into my bedroom when they heard me shriek. I was staring into the mirror in horror, and I think I scared the kids too. Especially my daughter of seven, who is quite a sensitive soul. Well, I have to rewind a bit here.....

I am one of those a-second-in-front-of the-mirror-before-I-bolt-out-the-door person. The only other times I tend to look at the mirror is when I am brushing (an unavoidable horror) or when I have to wear my lenses (so I can't REALLY see what I look like).  But anyway, coming back to the topic.

As the teeth of my comb slid through the little curls on my right temple, I discovered two insolent white hairs. (This is the first time the plural of 'hair' seems to be right! If I had a penny for all the times I've heard people say stuff like 'I have long hairs' .... I'd have given Bill Gates a donation!!).

Not just ANY two white hairs. The most visible, strategically located, undeniably conspicuous pair of mischief makers! All the times I had laughed and scoffed at the ads in TV that declared life ended with the arrival of silver on one's mane! This was like all the ad-makers, models and Aishwarya Rai Bachchan teaming up and screaming revenge.

As if this earth shattering discovery wasn't enough to cause a Myocardial Infarction (Ha! bet you are heading for Google right now!), my husband of over a decade (really... these are the moments when I feel there should be a law against people remaining married for over 5 years! I mean, even the Government gets out after five years!) looks up from his tea and grins with smug satisfaction. "OK... now officially, you're OLD!" Between pouring his hot tea over his head, and storming out of the room in dignified silence - AFTER hiding the TV remote, I chose the latter.

The metamorphosis is very subtle, but I discovered some changes in me:
  • I don't let a chance go by when I pass a mirror these days - the first chance I get, I look at the little white monsters in my hair, and beg them not to convert the others from their natural state
  • I am kinder to silver haired people - especially women
  • I listen intently to Aishwarya Rai or Bipasha Siren Basu when they explain how hair dyes are the gift from heavens
  • I have FINALLY started using oil on my hair (Mom, stop laughing - I can see you say "I told you so")
  • I have told both my kids a million times that THEY are responsible for the new developments on my scalp
  • I am contemplating new hairstyles to suitably hide the offenders
  • While driving in the car I wish we had left hand drive in Delhi, so that its hidden from the others driving on the road (who incidentally, are CERTAINLY looking at the white hair with intense concentration while navigating through rogue Delhi traffic - now we know why all the accidents happen!) 
As a conscious effort to stay out of a straitjacket, I have ditched the idea of throwing white paint on random strangers' heads (especially the ones with nice, glossy BLACK hair). I have also decided to now look at the mirror with my eyes closed.

3 comments:

  1. You have a knack for writing with genuine, unadulterated humour. :)

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  2. :) made me laugh .. thankfully still got black hair on head .. no white hair but the beard has gone white so bet is I shave it off ..

    I have a plan if i have white hair I am gonna shave Simple solution . go bald yayyy ..


    Bikram's

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  3. @Ajay .... thank you ... you write wonderfully too.. read a very thoughtful blogpost by you!

    @Bikram ... yeah thats a good solution!! :-D

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