Friday, September 11, 2009


It is so easy to forget what we hold dear to our heart, in the pursuit of what we consider most important to us in life!! It takes a really jolting moment to whack you in the head and tell you - "Hey!! Duniya gaya tel lene, this is important to me!"

I mean we work our butts out trying to get that elusive thing called success. It can be high grades in class for some, a "white collar" job (which automatically elevates you to the 'sir' or 'ma'am' category), all the money that comes with the job for some, being socially and politically correct always....etc.

But there comes a time when suddenly, you are faced with the hard hitting reality that you would give all that up for that SOMETHING / SOMEONE in life - but maybe we are just a tad late..............Is this what they call 'nirvana'? Is this some kind of self actualization that we keep hearing of in motivation theories?

I was in hospital, trying to keep myself free from guilt..... I am what they call a mother. There probably are zillions of poems, songs and stories glorifying my species.

But there is a difference - I am a human!! I make mistakes. One of them can cause so much pain to a one and a half year old baby, sleeping in drugged sleep. Drugged from medicines given to him to get rid of his "germs" - the virus that was causing the dehydration. The hospital staff were giving me dirty looks - i can almost hear what they are thinking..... "How irresponsible!" ....... "Poor child."

- True I am a busy mom (Ping! Point to Guilt)
- But also true that I loved him and did it all for him. (Now, why wasnt that so convincing?)
- He wouldn't be so ill if I was at home, caring for him all the time (Ping! Point Guilt)

........ I was fast losing the battle to guilt. I got a call. The voice at the other end said "I know you must be beating yourself up..... dont do it!" Thats my sister, my friend. The one who made me feel 15 again...."He needs you to be human. Just snap out of it, get your priorities straight, and make those decisions you need to make. But right now, enjoy your time together. He is getting better, right? So thank God, and start living!"

I took a long time off from work..... thought the office guys can go fly a kite. I surely would lose my job.Well, what do you know - the whole team came to see us, assure me they will keep things ship-shape till I join back.

The boss told me to take it easy....................... I was surrounded by optimism...... and I had kept worrying about things that might never happen, only to have things happen I never imagined!! I love my job.......but you know what - I love life much more.

I still have a job I love, but that doesn't make me lose focus on life. Am I compromising on that elusive thing called succes? Finally I realise now - I AM SUCCESSFUL!!

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