The Smile Chronicles

This post has random bleh-ness, so please go right ahead and ignore it if you have anything better to do. And if you still go ahead, paying no heed to my well-meaning warning, then, you truly deserve to be tortured with the post that is to follow.
The truth is, that I have been quite discontent these days. And escape mechanism is to be flitting between nostalgia clips (that oscillate between chirping birds in a hundred-year-old tharavadu, to guzzling away many random beverages that don't agree with each other in a dilapidated college building....)

And in all these clips, there are these spots of brilliant humour, which create an oasis of happiness in the midst of all the 'ifs' and 'if onlys' in life. So I just decided to list here, in random, unconnected (just realized they mean one and the same!) memories that still bring a smile.... Like I said - walk away before it is too late, folks!

1. My sister, aged two, would call 'breakfast' and 'wastebasket' the same thing - 'Bake-aack'..... We would understand reference to context only when she pointed and said the word.
2. My Mom, a dedicated homemaker, but with all the competencies of Sherlock Holmes, would rummage through all our 'personal' stuff when we were in school, and try as she might, she could NEVER hide the glint in her eyes. 
3. A terrified Dad sending me a birthday gift - exactly a month in advance!
4. I would go around the TV peering through the holes in the back of it to catch the little people that lived inside it - age 3
5. My first crush in school .... we would attend drama classes together. (Finer details - he ended up playing my escaped convict SON in a prize winning skit. Yup! I was the bad*** even back then)
6. My first job interview, where I poured hot coffee all over the interviewer. (Finer details - I got the job)
7. A couple of over zealous young hoteliers, waiting for the millennium sunrise on the beach - on the Western coast. (Finer details - it can be attributed to blood alcohol, but our basic geography lessons failed us - we forgot the sun does not rise from the western seas!)
8. During the few days of hour-long romantic conversations before wedding, would-be hubby declares he has planned the entire cross country post wedding-reception travel (I hail from one corner of the country, and he, from the other extreme corner)..... but he forgot to book his new bride's tickets!
9. There was this contraption called the VCR (yeah! I'm THAT old) which was brought home amidst a lot of dancing and jumping up and down .... we could now watch movies at HOME - who could have thought of that, huh?
10. After a particularly eventful evening with friends, (that raised alcohol content in the bloodstream) I decided the best place to sit in an auto was the drivers' seat - much to the horror of the driver, who just vanished (with the auto) 
11. After a disgusting Delhi-dude-in-big-car-and-baked beans-for-brains knocked my little car, I bravely got out of my car amidst all the honking and the ensuing traffic jam, walked up to the smirking buffalo in the ship-of-a-car, and pulled out his car keys from the ignition. When the dude shrugged and said 'OK lets just wait for the cops' (which meant an hour long wait), I threw the keys right into the middle of the honking traffic...... AND RAN for my life. Watched shocked dude trying to navigate traffic to get keys. *Satisfied laugh here*
12. Sister and me manoeuvring through aisles to avoid lecherous MCPs in the buses in Kerala, jabbing an open safety pin into a guy and laughing like crazy about it later.
13. Mom, sister and me playing 'Tickle Tickle' on the bed on lazy afternoons.
14. Grandfather waking up all of us cousins (with a playful glint in his eyes) with the loudest rendition that the old radio could dole out, of the theme music of All India Radio - at the crack of dawn.
15. The musical chairs that would form and inevitable part of every wedding Sadya (feast).

Suddenly realized - it takes so little to actually give us true happiness, right?

How YOU doin'? ..... And a Book to WIN!

Yes, I am alive.

No, I do not have a job description that entails saving the world while looking like a million dollars

Yes, I still have my typing fingers.

No, I do not want to kiss my blogger friends goodbye

Yes, I do think I am vain enough to think you missed me

No, I did not expect the front page news to read that a street protest was staged to get me to write again.

The last month was all about mood swings that could put a cannabis-smoking junkie to shame. I oscillated between feeling on top of the world and wanting to give up eating seafood. (What? In my case, giving up eating fish is like putting a gun to my head while trying the size of the noose around my neck, just in case the gun was made in China!!)

Let me begin with the stuff that makes me want to rip out my heart and throw it to the sharks. For reasons known only to the Creator (pretty sure He's wringing his hands in pure agony at the judgement call He has made), I seem to be having trouble getting my viewpoint across to a highly skeptical 9 year old, and with growing concern, I am beginning to realize that this kid just might take after her mom - namely, Me!! On the other end of the spectrum is the toddler who proudly declares to his teacher that he will score more than his customary 'Zero' in his class assignments "jab mein bada ho jaoonga!".

I have been asking those dreaded questions.... you know, the mid-life crisis kinds...... "Where am I going? What do I want? Who am I ? What do I make for dinner? What did I deserve to outgrow my favourite jeans?......." You get the drift, right?

In addition to eating everything that is either sinfully sweet or crispy fried (the only two categories of foods that seem to have the answers to the aforementioned questions) I have also been researching on various techniques to irritate the living hell out of my colleagues and friends. Sharing some simple tips here:

• Finish ALL the papers in the photocopy machine and do not replenish
• Disclose the climax of a much talked about movie or book. (Note : here, movies like Ravan, or Agent Vinod do not count - not as effective) 
• Send out explosive mails at 6.00 pm on a Friday evening (sure shot results)
• Many more that are copyrighted material - am open to sharing these for a good price

In the same breath, want to share with you that my second story in print is now out. The book titled Icarus Blackberry Notes Soul Sisters is a collection of short stories of authors who had participated in a short story competition.

Do read the reviews on Flipkart, and if you get your hands on the book, please do contribute to the reviews.

The dream book launch in Delhi made the 7 co-authors including me feel like celebrities. Signed autographs, spoke 'a few words' on my inspiration, had my photographs clicked with people who hardly knew what the commotion was all about, met really interesting young writers, who were extremely talented and focused and saw proud, contended happiness on the faces of my family (of course there were moments that made me cringe at the hollering and the sound of little running feet).

We even got covered in the Times of India article where if you are diligent enough, you can spot my name! *Smug smile here*

Now, the most interesting part ..... I have here, a contest winning which, you could  ....... wait for it..... be the proud owner of this book. I have your attention now? Well lets get on with the contest then:

Step 1 : In the comments of this post, let us know the book that has made you emotional - enraged you, depressed you, caused you to shed a few tears of laughter - whatever. Also let us know what you felt and why you felt what you did....

Step 2 : Have people vote for you in the comments itself. Each person can compete once, and vote once. Or do either one of the two (i.e., vote without competing, or compete without voting) But only once each.

Step 3 : Once the winner is declared by all of us, the winner would let me know his/her address and you shall receive your prize!

Let us start, amigos!!

Four movies and a Bike Ride

Warning : Blah alert! I will make contradictory statements here.

Lets begin with the first one - I have been surprising myself with the amount of stuff one can do in 24 hours! Also, I have watched 4 movies! Yes, amigos, after a decade and a half, I still have it in me!

Yes, I am going to tell you about them; yes, I have been neglecting the writing bit, and yes, the bike ride bit comes later.

The no-brainer : Put Disney-like storyline with really ugly looking creatures in the most fantasized planet ever (mars, martians...), a few smartass dialogues, a confused earthling and an alien princess (who wears far less than she actually should) and you get a strange concoction called John Carter. Watch it only if you want to see how our imagination has really taken a long, long walk! Or like in my case, watch it if you want the kids to understand a sci-fi.... after all, there is verrrrrrry little 'sci' in it!

The D-uh...... comic book? : A stubbly hero (with an uncanny preference of dressing like Bond) who seems to be going through menopausal symptoms (how else do you explain the mood swings?), a heroine who seems to have decided to give up acting after getting married (if she keeps up the acting talent shown in this movie, it certainly is time she did give up acting) and a storyline that looks exactly as if it were right out of a comic book. The only thing the director has remembered to do is to make the dude and the dudette look good - even in a torture cell, with terrorists bashing the hell outta them, they gotta look cool - just like the comic! A few smart lines, a few overlooked moments of dark humour and a few exotic locations are what Agent Vinod is all about. Worth a one-time watch, but please do leave your brain at home.

The Kickass one : A disclaimer here : if you haven't watched Vidya Balan in her heavily pregnant avatar yet, someone will soon blurt out the story, and you will end up torturing that person by making him/her watch one of the above. Sincere advise : Watch it! It may not be perfect, it may have jumpy editing and preposterous judgement calls, but it most certainly is a movie that will make you walk out of the hall dazed that you too were fooled! *Bows down here to VB* That's it! If I say anything more, I just might end up being the tortured one. In one sentence : Kahaani can take on Don, Ra One and Agent vinod - blindfolded!

The One that blew my breath away : For all the non-mallus, you probably will never know what this paragraph is all about - and I really hope there comes a time when we have as mature a treatment of a movie in Hindi. 'Beautiful' is not a new movie. It was last years surprise package - no big names, and no exotic locales. No action, or mouthful of unfathomable monologues by the hero. This one is Jaysurya in the most mature performance I have ever seen him do and Anup Menon in the most endearing portrayal of a loving, but flawed friend. Awesome songs ('Mazhaneer thullikal' being the song I have been listening to the whole day last week), lovely editing, fantastic casting and awesome storytelling. But what takes your breath away is the freshness of it all - including the dialogues. Intelligent humour and well placed comments..... can't stop raving about the movie. If there are any of you who haven't watched it - this one is a must-watch!

Now for the bike ride : After what must have been over 14 years, I was on a bike feeling the wind in my hair and the sun on my face. I was in Bangalore, met up with old friends, discovered that they still brought the house down with their jokes.

A long heart-to-heart chat with a friend who defied odds to remain a friend, and meeting his wonderful family.  An unplanned meeting and subsequent dinner with yet another friend and his wife - at 2 am (a couple of drinks down and we women started talking business!) .... and ofcourse some real kickass home food! Life's good!

The rise and fall of the big 'E'

"Wait-a-minute!!" The grimacing smart-alec from a decade old marriage (eleven years to be precise, and still counting) said to me in between chomping through dinner. "Are you sulking?" This was followed by a grin that looked like the Cheshire cat playing the role of Voldemort.

The dignified, mature, well meaning indivdual that I am, I chose the best form of revenge known to womankind  - Silence. But the TV remote seemed to have suddenly, mysteriously disappeared - only to surface AFTER an eventful cricket match. I am sure The better half is still appreciative of the few kilos shed between all manual channel surfing.

You bet I am sulking! It all began with a short story competition that led to a bewildered me (read that as me pinching myself every 5 minutes to see if I was awake!) dreaming night after night of signing books (not unlike the dashing Castle and that wicked smile of his - just imagine the female version.....ummm..... yuck! on second thought, make it more like Beckett!) and finally being hailed as the answer to today's Sheldon ... or maybe even Edgar Allan Poe....

What? A girl can dream, can't she?

Well, lets just say the book got published. And then a co-author and I were just whining that there aren't any reviews for OUR book (among various theories was that the cover did not have a beautiful lady, and that probably was why) when kabam! ... in flow the reviews! And what awesome reviews they were. If the reader remembers (I insist on calling you that - so what if I am not a famous author?), I had, in an earlier post, voiced my fear of being singled out as the worst story teller ever, in that collection. Well, lo and behold! I have discovered another talent in the already too-talented-for-my-own-good self! I now can predict future....

Every review spoke highly of so many stories.... You would think a few of them would feel pity on me too, right? No way - where have all the be-nice-even-if-you-didn't-like-it people? The good news is that Urban Shots Bright Lights seems to be a voice to reckon with. Do read the reviews here to find out for yourself. And ofcourse, my good friend Dr.Roshan (oh yes! the name dropping was on purpose! He most certainly is on his way to being Castle... ! ) does get oppurtunity to hog the limelite here (which, by the way  is well deserved. But not that I intend forgiving him for it.....)

As if this wasn't enough, there were reviews that spoke about some stories (very rare) that were not too impressive in the collection...... you would think I would have made it to THAT list atleast. No. Nada. Zilch! I deserve a little sulk time, don't you think?

I was just my own, sulky self one day, when I recieved a phone call that made me grin like a monkey with a first time shot of tequila. Turns out, one of my stories have been selected by another publishing house for publication... and they want me to read a para at the book launch next month.

Now, let me not give you any wrong messages - I am, in all sense of the word, blowing my own trumpet here! And please do tell me you want to know which publication, and which date and all that... (which, shhhh! is still confidential for another yet week...)

Sigh! Looks like I will be having visions (yet again) of autgraphing my books to a long winding queue of excited fans - till the next review at least! 

Mamma's kids

Being a parent is something like learning to use a new confusing software - the moment you think you have the hang of it, the whole damn equation has changed. I mean, just look at the progression :

• Just when you think you FINALLY understand the difference between a hungry baby and a wet-nappy baby, they aren't babies any more!
• Just when you get the hang of feeding semi solid mush into unwilling mouths, they are ready to eat potato chips off a bag!
• Just when you start understanding their baby talk, they have begun using words you cringe when you hear
• Their shoes have shorter life spans than your toothbrush; but their jeans seem to outlive all logical reasoning
• They have barely learnt to identify colors, and here they are, disagreeing to wear dresses of a certain colour (It doesn't match the hair-band, you see!)
• Just a while ago, you were teaching them to dot the 'i's and cross the 't's, and today they are completely capable of writing 3 page essays on why you should buy them a particularly popular toy (the fact that this sometimes comes in a hand-made birthday card is small consolation)
• You had just a few days ago, trained them to sing 'I am a little Tea Pot' with actions to perform on stage, and they can now give Oscar-winning performances to skip school
• From a time a kiss and a hug took the tears away, they now need back up plans and solemn promises to be pacified (rest assured, these promises WILL BE reminded to you at regular intervals)
• You had only a few days ago, told them stories with a message, and today they remind the message to you

Suddenly, its a time when the little one has turned around to me and said, "But YOU do it all the time!" and the older one has declared that she has "the worst Mom ever."

Sigh!! Back to learning parenting all over - yet again!

Infidelity? You Bet!!

A very interesting conversation over a hurried morning tea between my husband and me went something like this:

Him : "Why would you want to read a book on infidelity?"
Me : "Why not?"
Him : "You think I am cheating you?"
Me (with a slight raised eye brow) : "Are You?"
Him : "Are you?"
Me : "Are you what?"
Him : "Oh OK! I get it! This is one of your freaky get-into-the-character thing, isn't it?" (but was that a sigh of relief?)

The cause of all this furor ? Well, it was this book that turned up as part of a book review program by Blogadda. The title of the book explains it all  :   "3'S A CROWD - Understanding and Surviving Infidelity" by Vijay Nagaswami

After having answered my curious better half 's perplexed questions, I sat myself down to read this book.

The title leaves no room for confusion - this is aimed at couples living through infidelity, or the ones trying to do so. Needless to say, it covers in detail, all aspects of an 'affair' - as the author likes to call this complex situation in many couples' lives today.

A few things that grabbed my attention:

• Wonderfully edited book, with very accurately used words
• Very skillful use if vocabulary - which means, ofcourse, that one may need to check out the dictionary a couple of times for e.g. "flagrante delicto" - for which I had to go all the way to good old Wiki dear to get a meaning.
• Very clear definitions of what constitutes an affair
• Non-judgemental descriptions of people in an affair - which includes repeated reminders to the wronged partner in an affair that they cannot assume the moral high-ground
• Humour that can make you smile even in the most morbid of thoughts. For e.g. "I marvel at the amazing capacity ofhuman beings to mess up their lives"

The author is a renowned marital therapist, and has used much of his experience, in the form of little anecdotes, to explain all facets of affairs. Ofcourse, while he has been very careful to hide identities of his patients, most of us will relate, in demographic profiling as well the incidents. to atleast one of the many characters brought to life in the book.

The author assumes the role of the therapist, reaching out to the person reading the book, dealing with the reader as though the reader would be either in, or has recently been out of, an affair. Most of the book, ofcourse, deals with extra-marital affairs.

Firstly, the author clarifies what constitutes an affair. He also goes on to explain which kinds are more prevalent in men, and which in women. (Oh yes, the women are having them too - as the author says "It is a myth that only men have affairs - who do you think they are having their affairs with?")

The author goes on to shred to bits, a few myths that are prevalent about affairs - and I must admit, some of them actually made me sit up and think about all that I had heard about affairs.

A very unbiased, yet firm look at why people have affairs is the next journey that the author takes us on, followed by a detailed dissection of the various kinds of affairs.

The author, with very careful words, explains the discovery stage, the confrontation stage and the trauma faced by both the "Aggrieved" and the "Transgressor" - both words which are kinder than most others that would be used in the same situation.

While the author very clearly advocates a resolution - to either stay with the spouse or the "Paramour", he has taken the reader through the pain and despair involved in doing either of the same. In fact, the author has stated that he hopes some of the stories will be persuasive enough to deter atleast a few potential 'transgressors' from having an affair.

Final verdict : A definite read for:

1.  anyone who has been in an extra marital affair and trying to put pieces of their life together.
2. for people who are in doubt whether or not their relationship with "that special friend" is an affair or not.
3. for anyone trying to decide whether the office affair just waiting to happen, is worth it.

A word of caution:  If buying from a bookstore, please flip through a few pages to see the print quality. In my particular copy, in some pages (7 pages out of a total of 308 pages) the words printed on one page smudged through to the next page, making for some frustrating read.

Yet another word of caution : Be prepared for either glares, or sympathetic head nods if you are reading this book in a public place (this bit is from experience!)

This review is a part of the Book Reviews Program at BlogAdda.com. Participate now to get free books!

The Sultan's Jewels (Final Part)

Photo credits jewelvalley.blogspot.in


PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3

On the ride back home, Karthu was transported back into her childhood home.

Karthu did not know when she had started seeing Kumaran as an enemy. She had remembered snippets of her life when they would play together under the mango tree, study together when the tutor came home to teach her, and eat delicious sweetmeats prepared by Dechchu for them. There were times when Kumaran had stolen money from Dechchu to buy her ice candy. There had been times when she had hidden the tutor’s rod for fear of Kumaran being hit for not answering correctly.

But gradually, she felt envious of him. He seemed to get all the attention from her mother. Her mother was more interested in his progress from the tutor. She would give him more money every festival. “He is a growing boy,” she would say “he needs money. What will you do with the money? Your father gets you everything you ask for, even if you have just whispered it in your sleep!”

When she was old enough to understand the kitchen gossip, young Karthyayani learnt that Dechchu had accompanied her mother as part of the dowry, along with a son whose father no one knew about. There were stories of Dechchu being an unwed mother, and yet others of the father being killed by the British soldiers. Armed with this knowledge, young, rebellious Karthu had once called him a bastard. Kumaran had not responded, but Karthu’s mother had slapped her hard. She refused to speak with Karthu till she apologized.

A little later, Kumaran moved into the city with a government job; Karthu got married and that was the last she had seen him.

It was a few years later, Karthu, already widowed, was called home to meet her dying mother. Her mother had been saving up energy to tell her the truth. “Karthu, you need to know something…. I would have preferred to let this go to the grave with me, but I can’t bear to see you alone your entire life, dear.”

"I have always loved you more than anyone else, and you know that. I can understand why you got angry with Kumaran – you were jealous, weren’t you? You were also right in calling him what you did - his father died before he could get married to Kumaran’s mother ……. But Karthu, Dechchu is not his mother – I am! Dechchu was just the solution to keep my son close to me even after I was married – I had refused to get married otherwise…….. Now, you have to tell me if you can forgive me – so that I die in peace……”

Karthu had forgiven her, and had also vowed to keep the secret close to her heart, so she never sought out Kumaran to mend bridges. She had, however, cried into Dechchu’s bosom when her mother had died, the tears from both women washing away all the past misgivings……

And today, she thought of Shambhavi’s smile again. She now knew where she had seen the same smile before. It is said that genes skipped a generation – it couldn’t have held truer for Shambhavi, as she was a splitting image of Karthu’s gentle mother…….

Karthu had wanted to kiss Shambhavi one more time before leaving. She had also wanted to bless her with many more gifts than the one thing she had given her. But she couldn’t let tongues wag again, so she had let the moment pass. But Karthu had done enough to make her mother proud…..

Karthu did not have any dreams that night, not even of the little girl with the little arms.

She died peacefully in her sleep.

* * *

Shambhavi was overwhelmed when Karthyayani had parted with the bottle of coconut oil that she so possessively guarded all her life, and that too, after she had conspired with the family to meet Karthu…

She remembered Karthu’s instructions only when the telephone call from Nisha had come - Karthyayani had died the night before.

Shambhavi was shocked for a while. Later, she decided she would do what the old lady had wanted her to. She took out the bottle of lovingly prepared oil, now opaque and solid, out of the fridge. She melted it with care, so that the bottle did not crack.

When the oil had melted, she saw a little plastic pouch at the bottom. She poured out the oil and carefully extricated the plastic pouch. Opening it was a difficult task, as it had been carefully sealed. Her hands shaking with exhaustion and concentration, Shambhavi finally opened the little packet, and overturned it on to her palm.

Over a dozen little spots of brilliant colors touched her skin now shaking for different reasons. The stories about the Sultan’s heirlooms were true, apparently….

*END*