tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post488377599955497316..comments2024-03-08T13:59:51.065+05:30Comments on La femme Nirvana: Why this Guwahati - di?Nirvanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05801881963638441875noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post-67705018609825880752012-08-09T10:04:25.795+05:302012-08-09T10:04:25.795+05:30@Muthu ... thnaks for coming by. And yes, these qu...@Muthu ... thnaks for coming by. And yes, these questions are all ancillaries to the ones that have been addressed in the post. And your description of the 'monster' is quite apt. Shall read your post soon! ThanksNirvanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05801881963638441875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post-78275664961252969842012-08-08T14:37:08.815+05:302012-08-08T14:37:08.815+05:30hmhm... Pretty sharp. I think that sexual discrimi...hmhm... Pretty sharp. I think that sexual discrimination is pretty much rooted in our society not just Indian at that. yeah, each and every society has it's nuances but the idiosyncrasies remain the same.<br /><br />Well try answering these questions---<br /><br /><br />---If married people can have sex and unmarried people cannot, then “Is Marriage - a publicly punched license to have sex?”<br /><br />---If women who are good to look & are sexy create the desire in men to molest them, then “Are men, such wimps that they don’t have any control over themselves?”<br /><br />---If divorced women always finds it hard to get remarried than divorced men. Then “Does marriage tarnish women but leaves men alone pure?”<br /><br /><br /><br />when we take up this issue, we are fighting a monster that has slowly taken by it's humongous proportions by years and years of dust settling into pillars that nowadays - people presume holds the society together.<br /><br />Try reading this- <br /><br />http://average-everyday.blogspot.in/2009/06/warning-highly-adult-content.html<br /><br />good post.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />http://average-everyday.blogspot.in/2009/06/warning-highly-adult-content.htmlmuthuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02849537728128467505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post-75063894413096915782012-08-03T10:44:40.452+05:302012-08-03T10:44:40.452+05:30@Janu ... Thanks for coming by!@Janu ... Thanks for coming by!Nirvanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05801881963638441875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post-8906863571585648382012-08-03T10:43:57.487+05:302012-08-03T10:43:57.487+05:30How true Sir! Unconciously, but we do tend to labe...How true Sir! Unconciously, but we do tend to label them - even if it is by our choice of gifts - a barbie for the girl and a cricket bat for the boy!! Thank you so much!Nirvanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05801881963638441875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post-56532585770644711412012-07-31T18:30:27.440+05:302012-07-31T18:30:27.440+05:30wonderful post...we should teach our sons to respe...wonderful post...we should teach our sons to respect women. No matter who she may be.JANUhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06983287092498427967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post-83080365227466175082012-07-31T12:31:00.974+05:302012-07-31T12:31:00.974+05:30Very,very relevant! Parents and relatives unwitti...Very,very relevant! Parents and relatives unwittingly pattern such behaviours into their children. How often have we heard a mother boast about a 10 year old son, "He is very hot tempered, just like his father." And the son feels that he has a right to throw his temper around. I have seen a child reaching out for a chocolate or pastry at a party and the parent announces, "Oh, he doesn't like sweets. He prefers hot and spicy food". And the child withdraws the hand and then overeats the pickle when dinner is served. <br /><br />"She is good in maths but weak in English". "She is a very quiet child. He is an out and out extrovert". The poor children desperately try to live up that that projected image. We should stop labeling. An introvert today may feel extroverted tomorrow. I may do badly in maths in this test but may get much better scores in the next one. Don't deny children this freedom to be 'processes'. Labeling makes them 'products'.Paul Mathewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15686957205777560894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post-52398299922807683982012-07-31T09:59:12.161+05:302012-07-31T09:59:12.161+05:30Yes, I know what you mean .... seen the same thing...Yes, I know what you mean .... seen the same things in my family too!Nirvanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05801881963638441875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post-5482126004296219182012-07-31T09:58:24.013+05:302012-07-31T09:58:24.013+05:30Mom(Aa), absolutely! We have to be the change, or ...Mom(Aa), absolutely! We have to be the change, or else we'll be regressing into the yesteryears! The first thing one has to learn even as a child is the dignity of labor - and it begins with the mom. I know so many households (especially ones where there is no daughter) where the mother is constantly on her feet, with orders from the father and the sons, and the mother adores the whole thing, proclaiming "See? they can't be a second without me!!"Nirvanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05801881963638441875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post-10019273070492087272012-07-31T09:49:54.326+05:302012-07-31T09:49:54.326+05:30How true Sumitra - I have been thinking of that to...How true Sumitra - I have been thinking of that too. That brings me to another theory - even adaptability is a trait kids learn from parents - like patience and values. And with regards to societal evolution, it was always the parents who took the step. You had no barriers during your cycle because your parents made sure you did not. Another possibility - your husband would have been raised in a household where job descriptions were drawn out, but one where the female members were also heard out - which made him open to the change as well. Now imagine a situation where not only were JDs strictly followed, but also one where the woman was not even heard out - that would yield a different kind of man, don't you think?Nirvanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05801881963638441875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post-89211767861413701452012-07-31T09:43:24.757+05:302012-07-31T09:43:24.757+05:30Dear Ash, your article was so true!! How many guys...Dear Ash, your article was so true!! How many guys have we seen who actually think a woman is his equal? And then we sing and dance about gender equality. Very nicley written post<br />I am honored to think that you would like to share this post - please do!! Thank youNirvanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05801881963638441875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post-44617251979261513302012-07-31T09:38:34.442+05:302012-07-31T09:38:34.442+05:30Hi Stanley - didn't know you wrote so well. Yo...Hi Stanley - didn't know you wrote so well. You should write more often, though!! <br />Unfortunately not many have the righteousness nor the wisdom to chose the right thing!Nirvanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05801881963638441875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post-4987988588114454052012-07-31T09:34:43.786+05:302012-07-31T09:34:43.786+05:30I know Chitra, this is a common factor. All moms t...I know Chitra, this is a common factor. All moms think sons should be the brave macho guy we see in movies - which is so skewed!!!Nirvanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05801881963638441875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post-66434798998415101592012-07-31T09:33:09.406+05:302012-07-31T09:33:09.406+05:30You know something, we are the rebellious generati...You know something, we are the rebellious generation - and yet, if you look at the average age of the Guwahati molesters, they are in their teens and tweens - thats whats scary. All these fancy talk points remain just that - and we teach the future generations the same thing.Nirvanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05801881963638441875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post-81784153951904773712012-07-31T09:30:26.629+05:302012-07-31T09:30:26.629+05:30Those are some really good points and I am glad th...Those are some really good points and I am glad that my son is on the right track. But I remember hearing things from my elders like anger is not good for girls, give water from kitchen to your bro and stuff. And for me actually that was the reason to put my son into this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post-8618971814811904172012-07-31T02:05:08.017+05:302012-07-31T02:05:08.017+05:30yes, yes, and yes!!! We cannot just throw ourselve...yes, yes, and yes!!! We cannot just throw ourselves on the floor yelling for change!! We need to be the change (am I quoting someone here?! :P)<br />I make my sons do the laundry, folding, putting their dishes in the sink, if they make a mess, they clean it type housework! I'll have my DILs thank me later and no, I am NOT the maid of the house!!! Hopefully, the way that I behave and the way their father behaves towards me will have an impact on their views of women in general.<br /><br />On the whole, however, I feel we should teach empathy for other human beings! I acknowledge that to a certain extent, this needs to be taught....a child should understand that one of his/her greatest pleasures could be helping another person, no matter who!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14718975387489795957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post-30672044164527012822012-07-30T20:18:25.575+05:302012-07-30T20:18:25.575+05:30I completely and totally agree with you about ever...I completely and totally agree with you about everything you've said. It's very important that parents do not make a distinction while raising girls and boys. But then again, it raises a question. Does everything boil down to upbringing? Do we only behave the way we were brainwashed since childhood? What about evolution?<br /><br />Example: My grandparents were raised at a time when women sat separately during their menstrual cycle. They did away with that when my mother was being raised. When I was being raised, a cycle was hardly seen as a barrier to anything at all. This did not come from upbringing, this came from a natural adaptation to changing environments.<br /><br />So what I'm saying is, no matter how they were brought up, aren't men and women supposed to think about adapting to changing times? Aren't we supposed to question age-old practices and do away with things that just aren't applicable anymore, no matter what we were taught?<br /><br />My husband was raised just the way you've described, as a male, privileged. Hardly required to do anything around the house. And yet, as a husband he is quite mature and understanding. At first it was weird for him that I didn't do everything like his mom did, but then I sat him down and explained to him that I was raised pretty much the same way that he was. He understood it beautifully and began to share household work along with me. As would any just, mature man who is willing to see reason. So tell me, is it the upbringing that's important, or the maturity of the person in question?<br /><br />What we probably need to question is, how mature are we on an average as a human race? Why is that only a rare few people are able to adapt, evolve, change? Why isn't everybody able to get over their animal instincts, or feelings of superiority/inferiority? Is it just a matter of time? What is it that needs to be done, to raise the level of human consciousness as a whole? <br /><br />Perhaps, if we stop hating the perpetrators and start finding answers to these questions, something can finally change...sumitrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06982291967366746019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post-28158096877453379902012-07-30T16:52:15.020+05:302012-07-30T16:52:15.020+05:30Amazing post... you have wonderfully summed up the...Amazing post... you have wonderfully summed up the appalling gender bias that exists in this country. Do read <a href="http://e-pinion.blogspot.in/2012/07/is-education-only-solution.html" rel="nofollow">one of my recent posts</a> on this topic. It makes me so, so angry to know what goes on in this coutnry!<br /><br />May I share a link to this post on my facebook page? http://facebook.com/musingsblogAshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10677346098586090998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post-15070673762787561882012-07-30T16:49:17.641+05:302012-07-30T16:49:17.641+05:30Thankfully we were all boys at home and we didn...Thankfully we were all boys at home and we didn't have this issue at home. But once out in the world (hotel school included) we learned a lot. After all these years, I think "wisdom" is the answer to questions. The right thing - guys or girls... Equality in all matters... Consistency... Ruthlessly righteous with wisdom to do and say the right thing..Wordshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13847976646245989861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post-17375094935340596822012-07-30T16:26:38.768+05:302012-07-30T16:26:38.768+05:30There were many in my family who thought that a gi...There were many in my family who thought that a girl who could handle her affairs while staying away from family and be completely independent lacked character.Every time this topic came up, my vehement protests lead to my poor mom being branded as someone who didn't know how to raise kids.. Fortunately my in-laws don't share these 'popular' beliefs and they were all praises for my mom. We blame others but the problem often lies closer to home. My granny still admonishes my mom everytime she asks my brother to do his share of chores in the house etc. She believes that will lead to him being a sissy..Chitranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3381559858864563502.post-45685498294176773392012-07-30T16:21:54.387+05:302012-07-30T16:21:54.387+05:30Those were some very pragmatic pointers which ough...Those were some very pragmatic pointers which ought to be implemented so that we can expect some change if not in the forseeable future then at the least in the next generation.<br /><br />I reckon our society will embrace no change in mindset unless we are rid off the - How does it affect me? Bug; that according to me is the root of all our problems.<br /><br />Cheers :)Atrocious Scribblingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09565576262693095632noreply@blogger.com